Your 6-Year-Old: Black-and-white thinking
Black-and-white thinking
Six-year-olds tend to have an all-or-nothing approach to life. They see things and feel things in absolutes: all wonderful or all terrible, really exciting or really boring. There's a developmental reason for this kind of rigid thinking, so don't be too critical of it. Help your child see the subtle shades of gray in the world, even if she doesn't seem to agree with you about them.
Your 6-year-old now
Your child may have trouble seeing the middle ground of anything. Sixes tend to be either ecstatic or down in the dumps. Someone is stupid or brilliant. Or something is right or wrong. This mind-set of rigid extremes can be exasperating and puzzling.
In fact, black-or-white thinking helps kids organize and control their world. As they put things into one of two categories – like or dislike, fun or boring – they make predictions about behaviors and situations. Being able to do this shows they can understand two very different ideas at the same time.
As your child matures, she'll improve her ability to see things from another's perspective. Till then, you can help her develop more nuanced viewpoints by pointing out the gray in life. For example, if your child is fond of hyperbole – "You never take me to get ice cream. You're always yelling at me." – remind her of the cone she got just last week or the time yesterday that you praised her for a job well done.
Your life now
Grand getaways can be terrific – but not always easy to engineer. Rather than waiting up for some fantastic escape months from now, look for little escapes to act as pressure valves from the everyday stresses of parenting. Taking just five or ten minutes to sit with e-mail and a cup of tea or run through some relaxation exercises can revive you – and more important, teaches your child that you deserve a bit of time to yourself. Your child is old enough to respect your need for time and space and able to entertain herself for these short periods, too.