Nightmares: Why they happen and what to do about them

How to know if it's a nightmare
Unless your toddler can tell you in words something that suggests she had a nightmare, it's hard to know just what caused her nighttime distress.

There are many possible reasons a toddler might awake at night and be upset. Some may wake and crave comforting because they've never learned to soothe themselves back to sleep on their own. Some children awake because they're ill or uncomfortable. But if your usual "good sleeper" suddenly wakes up crying, seems scared, and is clingy and has trouble getting back to sleep, she may in fact have had a nightmare. Usually it happens during the second half of the night, when dreaming is most likely to occur.

Nightmares shouldn't be confused with night terrors, a less common sleep disturbance that normally strikes during the first third of the night. Children having a night-terror episode remain fast asleep throughout, in a deep, nondreaming state, yet they're extremely agitated and hard to console. Afterward, they go back to snoozing soundly and don't remember the incident in the morning.

Why nightmares happen
Your toddler's nightmares are most likely linked to something that happened just before bed, like listening to a story that scared her or watching an upsetting show on TV.

Stress can also lead to nightmares. Bedtime itself can be a cause of stress, especially for a toddler who has separation anxiety. Being sick or being separated from a parent for a stretch of time can also be stressful for toddlers.

How to help your toddler after a nightmare
Go to your toddler when she cries out. Physical reassurance is important, so hold her or rub her back until she calms down. You may also want to make sure her favorite stuffed animal or toy is tucked in with her and double-check that the night-light is on. If you bring your toddler into your bed to comfort her, be aware you could be creating a habit that's hard to reverse.

Talk to her about the nightmare if she's old enough to understand what you're saying. But keep in mind that "it's only a dream" won't be much consolation, since at this age she doesn't grasp the difference between reality and dreams.