Your 3-Year-Old: Why Lie?

看著小孩長大真的是一件有趣的事情，即時小馨已經快四歲了，與學步兒階段不同，她現在已經很會講話、也聽懂大人的話，甚至會搶話回答...真的很不一樣了！

Why Lie?

It's said that George Washington could not tell a lie … but on the other hand, even the father of our country was a 3-year-old once. In some ways, preschoolers can't help but lie. They don't usually mean to. The "fibbing" is just one way your preschooler is coping with the world right now.
這個時期的小孩會說謊？一直以為小孩都會講真話，即使講的不真，也是她自己想像出來的劇碼，其實是很好笑的，想不到，小孩會說謊嗎？

Your 3-year-old now
If you haven't heard your child tell a whopper（瞞天大謊） yet, don't be shocked if the day arrives soon. She may vigorously deny having broken your antique china cup even if you saw her do it.
這點我倒是有經驗，親眼看過小馨做的事，然後被她否認...這樣子就是說謊嗎？ Why? It's not malicious, you'll be glad to hear. If the incident happened more than a few hours ago, she may truly not recall it, for one thing.沒錯！小孩的記憶力與理解力的確還在增長中，所謂「謊言」未必是她真願意說謊，而是她根本搞不清楚事情的真意，因此才有否定的答案！ Three-year-olds' memories are still short, especially for anything that makes them uncomfortable.哦！原來三歲小孩的記憶力還很短，尤其是遇到令她不舒服的事。不過另一方面，小馨的記憶力也很強，會記住一些小小的事件，例如她看到把拔在整理棉被，就說這件棉被會讓媽媽打噴嚏！她真貼心！連媽媽以前講過的話都記得！ Or she may remember, but understanding that it wasn't the right thing to do, she now wishes that she hadn't touched it. So she convinces herself — and then tries to convince you — of her innocence by wishing the smash away. Children don't tolerate emotional pain, so they reinvent their own reality or pass the buck to someone else. This process is quite automatic as children become convinced of the truth of what they're saying.

Intentional, manipulative, or malevolent intent to deceive doesn't happen at this age. 故意性的說謊還不會發生，沒錯！她不會故意去扯謊，就像之前要便便，可是進去廁所多次都沒有便出來，她絕不是故意戲弄我們，而是真的便不出來！Try not to accuse your child directly, especially if you know she's guilty. Instead, say something like, "I saw you knock over the cup. You need to tell me when things like that happen. Come help me clean it up." You want her to be able to come to you and speak the truth without fearing your anger or harsh reprimands.要引導她說出實話，也要有點技巧，用鼓勵性質取代責罰，希望她不是故意說謊、不要用大人的狡詐套用在她身上！ You can teach her an appropriate response and a way to make up for the harm. Above all, your child needs to know that you love her no matter what mistakes she makes.
讓她知道把拔碼麻愛她，即使她不小心做錯事情，我們都會疼她、視她為寶貝！
Your life now
Amid the sleep battles and tantrums, it's easy to miss the silver linings of life with a 3-year-old:

Your child is endlessly curious — maybe you'll learn something, too. Your child is so enthusiastic — maybe some of that energy will rub off on you. Your child is forgiving — no matter what happens today, you can count on a 3-year-old to start tomorrow with a fresh outlook and ready smile. Your child sees the world with wonder.