Your 4-Year-Old: Taming a Tiny Tyrant

Taming a Tiny Tyrant

"Get dressed. Brush your teeth. Pick up your toys." Imagine if someone bossed you around all day. You'd want to rise up and take charge occasionally, too. 哇！開頭看到這裡，不免驚訝！四歲的小馨果然就是這樣，不過，幸好我很早就認知到這點，沒有太常嘮叨，但畢竟是四歲小孩，很多行為的確讓我很傷腦筋，我也要再次提醒自己不要在她耳邊叨叨唸唸，犯了這個錯誤！Four-year-olds often have flings with bossy behavior. In part they're copying you, and in part they're experimenting with their ability to get others to do things for them. 小馨最近講話就是這樣，彷彿在學我們語氣般，愛指使他人。前幾天我唱了一小段"frosty the snowrene"，這次唱得比較好，沒有斷斷續續，她聽了之後就說，妳總算是會唱了喔!她說話那個語氣真是好笑，一副小大人模樣，想不到四歲半的小孩管這麼多啊！In a way, handling bossiness is about teaching your child social graces — before she becomes a tyrant nobody enjoys being around.

Your 4-year-old now
Your child absorbs and parrots back all kinds of grown-up behavior. Occasional bossiness is one of these. (Not that you necessarily deliver your commands as rudely as your child may play them back.) At four, kids start to experiment with power and how words can manipulate people. （這句話寫得太贊了！我完全同意！！）Combine this with a fondness for rules and order, and you might find a little dictator on your hands, lording over both her friends and your family.

Dealing with this behavior requires patience and consistency. Point out bossy behavior; don't reward it. If your child demands lunch or help with something, insist that she ask you again politely. "I'll be more likely to do it if you ask me nicely." Prompt for words like "please." If your child is being unkind to friends, turn the tables and ask how she'd feel if a friend treated her that way.
小馨就是這樣！明明自己就會的事情，還要我幫忙，有時我已經忙不過來，她卻要我去拿遙控器給她，我絕對不同意！而且也不會幫她，我堅持到最後，她只好自己去拿...
這讓我想起：12/28看完電影買完東西後約六點多回家，全家想睡個覺，把拔已經在我們床上睡著，但小馨硬是不准把拔睡我們的床，但我堅持：如果把拔睡在客房，我也要去客房...小馨說不要！要跟馬麻...但我卻不再順從她，這個床是屬於把拔馬麻的，把拔讓妳跟馬麻睡，不代表把拔不能睡，以前老公總是順著她、也要我順著她，而他自己到客房睡，現在不行了！她已經4歲8個月，很多事情都要能夠理解、不能再小霸王下去了。只見她無話可說，流了眼淚，並用手擦乾眼淚...（此時我是有點心疼），不過她還是聽了我的話，讓把拔睡在我們的床。

Sometimes bossy behavior stems from always feeling like the underdog, so relinquish power where you can. Let your 4-year-old hold a younger sibling's hand when you take a walk. Offering choices helps her feel she's in control: "You can take your bath first and then we can read. Or we can read first. You choose."

Your life now
When buying birthday gifts for your child's buddies, try not to overthink. Giving the biggest, best present won't make friends like your child any better. A duplicate of something your child enjoys is always a good idea (and, as a bonus, it will be less likely to make your child jealous). Also ideal: consumable items (like a big bucket of sidewalk chalk, art supplies, bubbles, or movie tickets) that won't pile up in the toy box.