Your 4-Year-Old: The Generous Child

The Generous Child

Parents naturally want their children to absorb their values. One that your preschooler is ready to learn now is generosity. As your child becomes more social, she'll be in more situations that demand sharing and cooperation. Through trial and error, and some nudging from you, she'll learn to be a generous friend.
小馨「在家」「對我們」一直很大方，為什麼強調「在家」、「對我們」？因為在家沒有別的小孩會跟她搶東西，我們都會讓她，她當然對我們好！但是她到園所和其他小朋友互動，是不是這樣？就不知道啦！
不過有點可以肯定，她對梓熏、庭琳及雅雅一直都很大方，上次回南投還說要送貼紙給她們....

Your 4-year-old now
Your child is gradually becoming less selfish, but it's still developmentally normal for him to think of himself first. How can you teach him generosity? Here are some ideas:
我覺得generosity一部份是天性、一部份才是後天養成，generosity可以教嗎？可是怎麼有人怎麼教都沒用？霸道就是霸道！這真的很奇怪，也許這個小孩的天性難改吧！

Set a good example. Offer to share a snack and find other ways to insert the word "share" in conversation. "Would you like to share this seat with me?"
Talk about other people's wants and needs. In the grocery, for example, ask, "What do you think Daddy would like to have for dessert?"
Make a dislike of selfishness clear. "I don't like it when one person takes all the crayons and won't share."
Praise the generosity you see. "I'm so happy you shared your cars with your cousin when he visited."
Make distinctions that help him feel more generous. If your child's train set is especially precious to him, explain that he can put it away before a friend visits but that all the other toys will be for sharing.
沒錯沒錯！這招我們也用過！在她表哥要來我們家之前，就先告訴她哪些玩具是不可以讓別人玩的，要先收起來，剩下的玩具就必須要分享...小馨也很聽話照做了，不過，還是有些不完美，在小孩子玩的過程中還是有一些爭執發生，對兩個獨生子女來說，「分享」真的不容易吧！


Your life now
You may find that asking questions about your child's day doesn't get you much information. If your child returns from a playdate and you ask what he did, he may just say, "We played." Try to reframe the question to probe more deeply — "What did you like best? What did you like least? What do you wish you could have done instead?" and you might still get a blank face. As much as we may crave details, sometimes all a 4-year-old does is play, and he really can't be any more specific than that.
對啊！每次問她在學校做了什麼事情，她總是不太願意回答，或者問她今天跟誰玩？跟誰睡？她都支乎其詞說不上來，更多時候是不願意說，雖然她已經待在園所四歲七個月了，我還是對她白天的學習生活很好奇...