Your 4-Year-Old: Pssst ... Guess What!

Pssst ... Guess What!

It's a common sight: Two preschoolers huddled in the corner, whispering. When you ask what they're talking about, one says, "It's a secret." Secrets attract 4-year-olds because they make them feel powerful, possessing knowledge someone else doesn't have. Secrets can be fun, silly, even productive: "Psst! Grandma told me if your bed is neat when she comes, she's going to give you a quarter!" But your child needs to learn to tell and keep secrets with care.
跟四歲小孩講話真的要很小心：有天晚上我們都躺在床上要睡了，但是老公的手機一直傳來line的訊息，後來愈來愈頻繁，吵得我們都無法入睡，因此我起身問了老公是誰....結果是xxx，因此我跟小馨說，這麼晚上她怎麼不睡覺，還在吵別人...真討厭！
隔天回阿公阿媽家吃飯，正好他們在跟xxx講電話，因此阿媽叫小馨來跟姐姐說話，但小馨說：我不喜歡xxx，媽媽說她很討厭！
果然很尷尬！

Your 4-year-old now
Your child may love to whisper (and holler發牢騷); it's a way of exercising control over his voice. And fours love secrets — possessing information that others don't have. 四歲小孩果然很愛講秘密，每次她湊過身來、貼近我耳邊跟我講秘密，我就覺得她真可愛！Since preschoolers enjoy gaining independence, secrets give them some control. They're deciding how much others need to know. (Be aware: It's a precursor to wanting more privacy.) Kids this age are also figuring out that the words they utter have power — to exclude, hurt, or make someone happy.
很難想像「擁有秘密」這件事，是她「擁有隱私」的先行步驟，小孩真的很可愛，但我還不想要她這麼快長大！

As your child tests out this new power, be watchful for hurt feelings. Relationships with new friends are still fresh territory for him. He's trying to be accepted and figure out where he fits in. If his secrets are exclusionary, leaving others out on purpose, the habit can backfire（事與願違） and leave him feeling wounded when he's the one left out.

Discuss with him that some secrets need to be shared (if someone did something inappropriate or when someone could get hurt). But be aware that it's hard for a preschooler to discern the difference between good and bad secrets. So make sure your child knows he can tell you any kind of secret and you won't be angry that he spilled the beans — even if he tells you what you're getting for your birthday.

And tell him that if another adult asks him to keep a secret, he should always tell you right away. Unfortunately, as much as we hate to think about it, child sexual abusers exist, and they often prey on children they know or are at least acquainted with. One of the first clues that something's amiss could be that an adult asked him to keep a secret.

Your life now
Many parents — and preschools — swear by hand sanitizers. But for them to work for your child, you have to make sure he's using the stuff right. A common mistake is not putting enough gel on the hands to start with; give your child a good squirt, not just a dab. Another error: not scrubbing the whole surface of the hand. Lots of germs hide under the nails.
小馨回家後要洗手這件事，老公比我還嚴格執行，現在小馨只要去洗手，就開始玩水、玩泡泡...玩到她心滿意足、我們看不下去才會離開。
There are some downsides to hand sanitizers. Using them often can lead to chafed, dry skin. Watch your child's hands for cracks, which are wide-open doors for infections. And sanitizers can't do battle with really grimy hands, since germs can lurk under the dirt. If hands are visibly dirty, point your child to the good old soap and water.
原來消毒劑的使用不一定好，臺灣有許多公共場所的門口入口處也有酒精消毒劑，我個人並沒有使用的習慣，當然平常也不會讓小孩用，頂多用soap讓她將手洗乾淨而已！