Your 4-Year-Old: Mama! I'm So Mad!

Mama! I'm So Mad!

Even adults melt down in the face of frustrations like lost keys or a slow Internet connection. Most of the time we try to react in a relatively civilized way, but that's something we've learned through much effort. Your child needs practice to learn to control her strong feelings, too. You can help by teaching her how to identify her emotions and what she can do when she has them.
控制脾氣真的是一輩子的功課，尤其我這個已經當媽的人，遇到不排隊、人行道上騎單車...種種鳥事，都還會忍不住叨叨念念一番，何況是五歲小孩？要他們控制脾氣，需要大人更有耐心，循循善誘地規勸（我想我應該做不來吧！）
像這次春季郊遊回程路上，因為晚上小馨吃了拔絲地瓜，她覺得好吃想再吃，但已經沒了，因此在車上一直咿咿阿阿唸著想吃地瓜....我回她目前在車上，沒辦法買，回去後到family mart再買烤地瓜給她吃，講了幾次不聽，還在whinning，我聽了就覺得煩，忍不住罵了她...
其實她已經五歲，應該懂事了，不過她心裡顯然無法接受，而且可能嘴饞想吃東西，所以才持續whinning，後來車上還有一個水煮玉米M，給她吃後，她就不再whinning了！
Your 4-year-old now
One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is teaching her how to calm herself when emotions are boiling over. Self-calming is not an easy thing to learn — or to teach, since most of us are still perfecting the skill.

Since you want to catch her before she explodes, you first need to recognize signals that she's about to lose it. Does she whine or lash out verbally? Maybe her body language or tone of voice tells the story. If she's frustrated playing with her blocks, does she clench her teeth? Once you know her cues, you can discuss them with her. The goal is to get her to recognize on her own when she's emotionally on the edge.
話說要在她脾氣爆發前先開導她，那就表示我們要時時注意她的動態，這點應該難不倒我們，我也能判斷出她大概能的脾氣是否快爆開，即使錯過了，也能在事後得知並安慰她。

The next step: teaching some simple anger management and stress relief techniques that will help her cope with strong feelings. It can be as simple as showing her how to take a deep breath: "When you feel like whapping your little brother, stop and take a deep breath and then let it out." Or, "Take a deep breath and count to three, then let the air slowly blow out your mouth." Practice together; eventually it can become second nature.

Physical activity lowers stress and clears frustrated minds, so getting outside can help. Warm baths, soft music, a back rub — these kinds of sensory activities soothe as well. "You're beginning to whine and get frustrated. Let's take a bath to help you calm down." Although your child won't be able to give herself a back rub whenever she's frustrated, your doing so helps her learn to identify her strong feelings and realize that it's possible to tame them.

Your life now
Just because your 4-year-old is turning 5 doesn't mean she has the maturity of a big kid. Brace yourself for a possible meltdown during birthday celebrations. As the high excitement of anticipation meets the event itself (plus presents, sugar, people, maybe a later bedtime), the birthday kid can easily be overwhelmed. Cajoling or reprimanding often only makes things worse. Better to give your celebrant a little quiet time and turn your attention to the guests while she recovers.