Your 5-Year-Old: Pushing buttons

Pushing buttons

Even "good" kids show flashes of defiance(敷衍、虛應故事）. Keep this natural tendency from erupting into a larger problem by making sure your rules are realistic and well understood. Responding with a big reaction (and letting your annoyance be clear) only encourages your child to defy（藐視） you more. The best way to avoid getting backed into a corner is to not rise to the bait.

Your 5-year-old now
Most 5-year-olds have outgrown the tantrum stage. But that doesn't mean they're done pushing your buttons. Defiance — sticking out a tongue or refusing to clean up a mess — is a normal way for children to test how far they can go.

Handling defiance requires walking a fine line. While you don't want to let your child get away with disrespectful behavior, you don't want to give it too much attention either. Yelling and harsh punishments often lead to more bad behavior.打罵教育通常會導致小孩更壞的行為出現，這點我也同意，我也知道這樣不好，有時真不知道要怎麼教育她，加上自己的脾氣忍耐度有限，通常也管不了這麼多了，不過事後我會後悔..

What helps most: having defined limits in the first place. As much as kids may rail against the rules, they take comfort from their structure.

Make sure your child understands the rules in advance, then point out transgressions matter-of-factly. And try to be understanding. If your child is having trouble following a rule, talk with him about it. Maybe you need to tweak the rule — or your expectations.
規則先訂清楚、先說好很重要，我會在時間到之前幾分鐘提醒她，讓她預作準備，而她通常也會遵守規定，「如果小孩對遵守規則有困難，要跟她談談」，感覺老美的教育就是將小孩當作大人一樣，或者說視他為一個independent adult，不像亞洲式強迫式的教育方式，這也是我一直在思考的！
題外話：
一直覺得小馨的個性很好，老師說小馨上思達數學時不專心，惹老師生氣，我問小馨有沒有哭，她說有，但沒讓眼淚流下來...聽了我好心疼，不過，她馬上又轉換心情，說誰誰誰也不乖、也被老師罵....她自己被罵這件事似乎沒放在心上，心境轉換地很好呢！

Reduce the number of opportunities for defiance. Where you can, offer choices. 是的！給小孩選擇權也是一個好方法，而不要小孩一味遵從唯一的方法"Do you want to put your shoes on here or in the car?" Give ample warnings before transitions to new activities. Ease control over things that truly don't matter. Will the earth stop spinning if he wears the same shirt to school three days in a row?

Be sure you notice when your child is behaving well and praise him for it. Your goal, in the end, is not to make him behave out of fear but out of a desire to do the right thing.

Your life now
Try not to be abrupt about announcing bedtime. It's a rare child who will drop whatever he's doing, or rise from the TV mid-program, and go straight to his pajamas without a fuss. Five-year-olds do best with a reminder that bedtime is coming, followed by a relaxed transition to bed. Rather than ending the day with a bang, make it a quiet time in which you can all relax and reflect on how the day went.
說到睡覺時間，小馨真的長大了！從不需要我唱歌、不需要我拍拍、甚至也不太需要我講故事了，我就知道她又大了一些。有時她進房間看到我在看電視，她會要我繼續看而她可以自己睡，我當然不會這樣做，我會將燈熄掉、跟她一起睡覺，只能說小馨太貼心了。