Your 6-Year-Old: Teaching table manners

Teaching table manners

Elementary-age kids don't come by their table manners naturally. They have to be taught, shown examples, and reminded about manners again and again. The good news is that your persistence will eventually pay off, in mealtimes that are more pleasant for everybody.

Your 6-year-old now

Children in families who eat together tend to have better nutrition, snack less, and even do better in school. So look for ways to make the table a pleasant place everyone's happy to be. Part of enjoyable meals is dining with people who know how to behave themselves at the table.

Enforce table manners – no shoveling food, napkin in your lap, chewing with your mouth closed, no complaining about what's served. Quiet but persistent reminders are usually the most effective. Of course, what you do is as important as what you say. If you expect your child to sit at the table and eat without getting up, you should do the same. No running to answer the phone or start the dishwasher.

While you want to teach your child good behavior, limit your messages to those relevant to the situation, and even then, these conversations shouldn't dominate table talk. Nor is the dinner table the place to lecture your child about her bad behavior at school or messy room.

Your life now

You can help your child develop a positive body image through the messages you give in subtle, everyday ways. Make observations about what her body can do, like, "I love watching how fast you run!" Emphasize accomplishment rather than appearance. Avoid adjectives that can shape a child's self-image, including pudgy, poky, chubby, shorty, hefty, and klutz. Don't let her overhear you using these words to other adults, either.

Alarmingly, even kids as young as 6 have been found to have a keen body awareness. Don't let your child see you weighing yourself obsessively or hear you bemoaning your own weight. If you or your child need to lose weight, go about it in a subtle but matter-of-fact way, emphasizing healthier food choices (including snacks), sensible portion sizes, and lots of exercise.

In other words, don't talk about it too much – which can backfire and create a child who is hypersensitive about weight and food – just do it. Enlist your child's doctor's advice.