Your 6-Year-Old: Dealing with death

Dealing with death

Death is a tough subject at any age. Six-year-olds have plenty of understandable curiosity about what it is, exactly, and what it means. Rather than trying to shield your child from the pain when a relative or pet passes away, it's generally better to let her participate in the grieving process and learn from the sad experience.

Your 6-year-old now

As much as parents would like to protect their children from the harsh realities of life, it isn't always possible. Pets, and people, die. Six is somewhat of a transition age regarding a child's ability to understand death. She's beginning to realize that a life cycle includes both birth and death and that death is final.

Still, sixes may hold stubborn notions about death. It's common for young kids to think that only old people die, for example. They're also curious about the details: What happens to the body? Where does it go? Abstractions are hard for this age. Avoid euphemisms like "She's gone to sleep." Instead, be concrete. "Grandma died. That means she couldn't breathe and her body stopped working."

Answer questions and offer hugs. Let your child see your grief. This gives her permission to feel sad, too. Since 6-year-olds may not be able to articulate their feelings, be supportive and let her grieve in her own way. Some children regress; others lash out or draw inward. Some think they're responsible for the death.

Your child may benefit from tangible ways to express grief, such as drawing or attending a memorial service. Many adults worry that funerals or visitations are not appropriate for young children, but in fact they can be helpful. Just be sure to explain ahead of time what your child can expect and that she'll need to be quiet during the service. And don't be afraid to talk about the person or pet who passed away. Good memories comfort.

Your life now

Squeezed for time? Exercise is often the first thing a mom tosses out her time-crunched window. If you can't get out for fitness, consider bringing fitness home to you. Invest in barbells, a jump rope, or a yoga mat and you may be more inclined to use them right in your living room. There's a reason exercise videos and DVDs are a genre unto themselves: They're convenient, they work, and there's something for every exercise style.