Your 6-Year-Old: Pile on the praise

Pile on the praise 讚美

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, it's said. 用蜂蜜比醋抓得到更多的蒼蠅。Six-year-olds are still eager to please their parents and respond well to praise.即使是6歲小孩，一樣需要大人的讚美！ Of course, some days it can be hard to find anything to praise genuinely, but if you think about it, you'll see it. Keep the praise as specific as you can make it. This not only teaches your child better but helps him to perceive your words as genuine rather than rote.

Your 6-year-old now

The simplest secret weapon you have in keeping life on an even keel with your child is praise. A few words about something your child did or is doing well can defuse a tense situation or head off a tantrum. Praise is also like money in the bank – each kind word or positive observation a deposit that builds up a store of goodwill in your child and actually makes him want to behave better for you. Kids have a deep desire to please their parents.
這讓我想起，每天晚上洗澡前，苡馨問我：媽媽，我今天乖嗎？我回答「乖」，她又問：那我可以得到幾個金幣？
其實6、7歲小孩也是要稱讚的，尤其當小米出生後，我就不敢只稱讚小米，即使小米現在7個月，是這麼地可愛、肥嘟嘟讓人想咬一口，我都不敢只有誇妹妹，也會誇姐姐很可愛，只不過苡馨沒自信，常常回我說，不覺得自己可愛，而且長得很醜...唉！這是她的盲點，永遠都對自己沒信心，也不知道怎麼肯定自己。

Try to make your praise specific. If you simply murmur "Nice job!" all day, those words become too vague to register. If you praise a particular act and describe it, that helps your child know what it was about his behavior that was good – and makes him more likely to turn in a fine performance. Compare "Good job" with "Thanks for stopping your play to give your sister her toy when she dropped it – that was really helpful to me."
這裡建議說，可以用更具體的字距來稱讚她，例如，不要只是誇她「做得好」！而是用更多精確的文字形容她的行為，例如她暫時暫停她手上的工作，去幫妹妹撿一個玩具...我想，我要學會用這種具體的稱讚法，這樣苡馨才會有感！

Your life now

Looking for good birthday-gift ideas for your child's peers? Fortunately, kids this age are still pretty easy to please. A good rule of thumb is to buy something your child would like.

Feeding a collection is usually a hit, although duplicates are a risk. Kids this age also love to experiment and use their imaginations. Presents that inspire creativity are always good – think arts and crafts supplies, building blocks, or science kits.

One fresh take is a present that allows the birthday boy or girl to spend time with your child. Maybe you can give a certificate to go miniature golfing together or offer up a movie night. Or make small items seem like a big deal by presenting a basket of themed goodies, all wrapped individually – a sports kit might include Whiffle balls, baseball cards, and a baseball book, for example.