Your 4-Year Old: Routine Matters

Routine Matters

No matter how free-spirited and even defiant your preschooler can sometimes be, know that structure is the best thing for him and your entire household. When children don't know what's happening next, they can feel anxious. And anxious children are irritable, angry, uncooperative, and unhappy. Routines offer security and reassurance. In addition to having clearly stated family rules, many families find that using chore charts and incentive programs encourages good behavior.
我也覺得能給孩子一個固定的、規律的生活常規是很重要的事，小孩很聰明，他知道許多原則在家裡是適用的，但在阿公阿媽家就可以隨便，因為阿公阿媽並不會給小孩這種束縛或原則，反而是讓她盡情發揮精力，而這就是讓我不快樂的原因之一。
舉例來說，有天晚上在外面吃飯，因為椅子較多排成一排，小馨坐下來之後阿公就問她要不要脫襪子在椅子上，我一聽之後馬上制止，但已經來不及了，小馨樂得脫下襪子在椅子上跳來跳去...唉，這個阿公不是最討厭自己的孫子這樣沒教養嗎？想不到孫子不在，他卻同意小馨可以如法炮製，這豈不令人生氣！！？？
Your 4-year-old now
What do chore charts, incentive programs, and family rules have in common? They all offer the structure that a 4-year-old needs. They let your child know what's expected of him: "If I clean up my toys all week and Mommy marks off each day on the chart, I get a trip to the dollar store."
這招我也用在今早（10/8）的起床事件上，話說我調到新單位後，必須要9點前到勤，因此每天早上我都精神緊繃、總是不耐煩+語氣不好地催促小孩起床、穿衣、穿襪、穿鞋...每次的下場都是小馨大哭、我像惡婆娘般結束一天的早起，因此這次我想了方法，睡前就跟她說，如果她可以乖乖起床、不哭不鬧地穿衣服，直到上車前都不亂哭，那就可以得到10塊錢，累積多了，我們就將錢捐給貧苦的孩子...
這小妞今早果然說到做到，直到我下車離開她都表現良好...我真的很高興！！

Admittedly, rules and programs are a lot of work to maintain. You have to think them up, explain them to your child, and then be consistent about following through. Make it easier on yourself — and boost your odds of successful results — by not using more than one incentive chart at a time. It can be hard to stick to a routine when you're juggling schedules of multiple children or if you have a demanding job, but if you can dig in and stay consistent, you'll reap the rewards. Often the very presence of a chart inspires your child to keep up with it even when you forget. Don't be surprised if he's the one reminding you that he did his chore and is ready for a gold star.


Your life now
Your child can brush his teeth (somewhat), wash and dry his hands and face, and perhaps comb his hair — well, sort of. No doubt you're happy to check those tasks off your daily to-do list. Cutting nails is one chore your child won't be ready to take over for a while, but some kids like to help by working an emery board over the rough spots after you finish or by having you cut each nail almost all the way and letting them tug it off themselves.