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安咕媽媽

安咕媽媽

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親密的危機

2011年10月25日
公開
27

心理分析學家艾力克森（ Erik Erikson ）曾提出一個理論，認為一個人生命中必定會經歷八個階段，其中前五個階段，都會在十八歲以前經歷。 根據艾力克森的理論， 零到一歲 是建立 信任感 及 安全感 的重要時期，孩子隨時找父母隨時都找得到，就能得到充分的安全感。 二到三歲 須建立 自主性 ，亦即可開始訓練孩子簡單的自理能力，以為未來自我控制能力的基礎， 四到五歲 是 主動感 ，亦即孩子在嘗試作肢體或智能的各種學習時， 必須給予正面的稱讚、肯定， 才會鼓舞他繼續向外界伸出探索的小手。 至於六到十一歲， 則需 奠定閱讀 、 學習 或是 協助做家事 的習慣。 這些都需要父母花時間觀察、陪伴、傾聽，更無法藉由代理父母來執行。 代理父母: 外傭, 安亲班, 电脑 現代的父母， 常花大錢想透過外在的力量、訓練，增加孩子的未來競爭力， 但 當孩子缺乏陪伴 ，他們可能悄悄的輸在人生的起跑線上，父母卻無從察覺。 陽明大學認知神經心理學實驗室教授洪蘭指出，孩子在六歲以前，最需要的是安全感。 她舉 1956 年美國威斯康辛大學的靈長類學者哈洛（ Harry Harlow ）做了一個實驗，讓小猴子在兩個「代母」之間選擇。結果發現，小猴子寧可選擇沒有奶瓶，但可提供安全感的絨布媽媽，而非有奶瓶但冰冷的鐵絲媽媽。 一個永遠讓孩子隨時都找得到父母，就是安全感的來源，也是所有人格的基礎。 「 有安全感，孩子就敢到外面闖天下 ，」她說。 「 孩子小時候，你不讓他隨時找得到你，等到孩子進入青春期後，出事就不找你了 。」 孩子缺乏陪伴，輸在起跑點贏了財富輸了孩子，成功意義何在？ 多數親子專家都同意， 12 歲小學畢業前倘若根基沒有打好，不論是學習的規律、自制力或是安全感，國中之後要調整即極為困難。這些根基，最好的方式就是透過 每天的陪伴、傾聽與談話 。 為了因應忙碌的雙薪家庭，兒童福利聯盟甚至提出一個「三三三專案」 每天至少： 擁抱 三十秒鐘、 聆聽 三分鐘、 陪伴 三十分鐘。 「父母陪伴太少的結果，孩子長大後，也不易與人建立親密的關係。」兒盟執行長王育敏說。 陪伴三十分鐘，不過是每天看一部連續劇二分之一的時間，但有多少家長做得到？

Fears over 'white flight' from selective schools

2011年10月17日
公開
20

A "WHITE flight" from elite selective high schools is entrenching ethnic segregation in Australia's education system, according to a social researcher. In a study of student language backgrounds in schools, Dr Christina Ho, of the University of Technology Sydney, found a clear pattern of cultural polarisation, with few Anglo-Australians in high-achieving selective entry government schools. Students from migrant families — mostly from Chinese, Indian and other Asian backgrounds — dominate the enrolments of the schools. In Melbourne, 93 per cent of students at Mac.Robertson Girls High School and 88 per cent of pupils at Melbourne High School and Nossal High School are from language backgrounds other than English (LBOTE), a category that also includes those from non-Asian backgrounds. In Sydney, nine out of the top 10 highest performing selective schools have similar high percentages of LBOTE pupils, mainly from Asian backgrounds. People who speak an Asian language at home make up 8 per cent of Australia's population, according to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics. Dr Ho said it was understandable why so many migrant families, put off by high fees in private secondary schools, flocked to public selective schools because of their outstanding academic results. "Anglo-Australians' shunning of public selective schools is less explicable, particularly among those families with talented children who might achieve the required standard on the selective schools [entry] test," said Dr Ho, whose findings are published in the journal Australian Review of Public Affairs. "The 'white flight' from these schools must partly reflect an unwillingness to send children to schools dominated by migrant-background children, which simply further entrenches this domination. "If current trends continue, we risk creating highly unbalanced school communities that, rather than reflecting the full diversity of Australian society, instead constitute unhealthy and unnatural bubbles of segregation and isolation." Dr Ho's study examined enrolment data given by all schools and education authorities to the My School website. The LBOTE data measures cultural diversity and, unlike birthplace, identifies second and subsequent migrant generations not born overseas but who are members of a cultural minority. The principal of Melbourne High School, Jeremy Ludowyke, rejected suggestions that the school was not culturally diverse. "We don't see a white flight expressed in the pattern of applications to the school," Mr Ludowyke said. About 60 per cent of his pupils have a parent born overseas. "Melbourne High and Mac.Rob have played a pivotal role in providing opportunities for newly arrived migrant communities. They're part of the success story of multiculturalism in Melbourne," he said. Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/national/education/fears-over-white-flight-from-selective-schools-20111016-1lro2.html#ixzz1azDfUYTl

Clever, diligent... and feeling the pressure

2011年10月17日
公開
24

Caroline Milburn October 17, 2011 The drive for success among students with Asian backgrounds is starting to alarm some schools. THEY tend to be model school students - polite, hard working, with a respect for education many teachers wish more teenagers from non-Asian families would emulate. Students from Asian backgrounds have changed the profile of academic success in Australia's schools. They shine among the best year 12 performers in numbers that far outweigh their proportion of the general student population. And they dominate enrolments at Australia's most competitive schools - selective government high schools - where entry is decided by performance in a test. Advertisement: Story continues below ''Twenty years ago I was one of a handful of Asian kids at my old selective high school,'' says Dr Christina Ho, of Sydney's University of Technology, whose research shows more than 85 per cent of students at most selective high schools are from non-English speaking backgrounds, mainly from Asia, including India. ''Now it's a school with mostly Asian kids. ''Selective schools have been radically transformed in a short space of time, with students from cultures where they're expected to spend a lot of their time studying. That's led to a much more intensive, stressful academic environment that's not healthy for kids.'' This perception has led Anglo-Australian families to be wary about sending their children to selective schools and is likely to explain why so few are represented in them, according to Dr Ho, whose research was published recently in the Australian Review of Public Affairs. ''People have the strong impression that Asian kids are being coached from a very young age to get into these schools. You only have to look at the way the private coaching industry has exploded and the profile of their students to see that impression is well founded. It's another disincentive for Anglo-Australian parents to send their kids along to sit the entrance test, especially if they feel their kids haven't been prepared for the test.'' A Melbourne High parent who asked not to be named agrees that non-Asian parents often don't bother to apply to selective schools due to a reluctance to use the intensive cramming methods popular among Asian families. ''A lot of Caucasian parents think there's no point even trying to apply unless your kid is really outstanding,'' she says. ''It's hard to push your kid to do 18 months of private tutoring when you know there are so many Asian kids being heavily coached from grade three onwards to get into selective schools.'' The schools say private tutoring is unnecessary for most students. But the message is not having a big impact in Asian communities, where enthusiasm for the practice is entrenched. For example, in Korea and Shanghai, China, more than 45 per cent of students spend up to four hours a week in after-school maths lessons and another 20 per cent spend more than four hours, according to data from the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development. In Australia, many students continue to use private tutors even after they win a place at a selective school. But the popularity of tutors, along with another powerful attitude among Asian parents - that children should focus on achieving perfect test scores - is starting to alarm teachers at selective schools. The practices are causing high levels of student stress and excessive workloads, according to teachers who say the problems have intensified as the cultural mix of the schools has narrowed to become predominantly Asian. ''We've got a lot of boys who are depressed,'' says Peter Wood, who has taught at Melbourne High School in South Yarra for 31 years. ''We have boys come up to us and say, 'I can't do my Melbourne High homework because my four tutors have given me so much homework.' Parents are very supportive of tutors so their son can get every advantage to improve and get into an elite job. There's a lot of family pride involved.'' The school's homework policy recommends that year 10 boys spend two hours studying in the evening. Mr Wood, the year 10 co-ordinator, says parents often push their sons to study four hours each night. And the widespread use of tutors, previously evident among year 11 and 12 students, is now spreading to the junior year levels. ''A lot of guys are going home and sitting in front of their computers to appease their parents. They're not doing normal social things, things that would have happened 10 years ago, like catching up with their mates or playing sport. Their social skills suffer.'' Other colleagues describe dealing with many highly anxious students who constantly bombard teachers with requests about how to turn a high score into a perfect grade. In English, students write reams of extra practice essays - including one year 12 student who asked his teacher to assess 78 practice essays. ''At parent teacher nights you will explain to parents that your son is doing very well with an A plus grade,'' says chemistry teacher Peter Cogo, a 15-year veteran of Melbourne High. ''Then parents want to know, what else can their son do to improve, can he be given more work? It's very frustrating because we see the anxiety and stress this creates for the students.'' Marcus Sharp, head of the senior school at another selective school, Mac.Robertson Girls High School in South Melbourne, says his school has similar problems with student anxiety and overuse of private tutors. But he says non-selective schools with high numbers of students from Asian backgrounds, such as his former school, Balwyn High, are also confronting the same issues. ''The expectation that you focus solely on academic pursuits is a pressure generated by parents and the students themselves, who are under a lot pressure to keep up with each other,'' he says. Some parents who don't employ tutors are uneasy about how the practice is ramping up an already highly competitive environment. ''When you've got kids in year 9 being tutored in year 12 maths and doing practice exams for entrance to university medical school it makes the other boys feel they're not as capable; it can affect the confidence of those not being tutored,'' one parent says. As these cultural hazards are emerging in selective schools, Asian nations are taking drastic steps to deal with the fallout in their own education systems. Concern about high suicide rates, widespread depression and lack of creativity among students caused by family pressure to focus on academic scores has led China, South Korea, Singapore and Japan to reform their school systems. Tuition hours for maths are being reduced and more sport, art, drama and music are being injected into the curriculum. Professor Yong Zhao, a specialist on Asian education systems, says the changes are being driven by governments keen to liberate students from devotion to test scores and get them to be more innovative thinkers. In China the government is having limited success. When it ordered schools to shut at weekends, parents responded by hiring teachers to conduct lessons in hotel rooms, according to Professor Zhao, of the University of Oregon, who spoke recently at an education forum hosted by the Grattan Institute in Melbourne. He says the response typifies an approach many Chinese parents have towards their children's education, a traditional attitude influenced by Confucian values evident in Asian communities in Australia and the US. ''It's a type of forced excellence: Asian children learn to comply, it's not that they want to do it, or even enjoy doing it, they've been encultured to do it … I hope Asian parents will learn that academic excellence will not necessarily bring their children a great and gratifying life.'' Selective schools are altering their policies to tackle the consequences of narrow cultural attitudes to education. At Mac.Robertson, a student well-being taskforce has been established and girls are taught about the need to balance study with other activities. The school's strategic plan includes a review of the school's welfare programs to boost student resilience and changes to help the student welfare co-ordinator support ''students experiencing acute distress and undergoing professional treatment''. At Melbourne High, this year's year 12 students will be the first to graduate with the Melbourne High Diploma, an accreditation program that requires all students to be involved in non-academic activities such as sport, drama, choral singing and community volunteer work. Students in every year level must earn enough points from the activities to enable them to graduate with the diploma. ''We introduced the diploma as a manifestation of what has always been the school's philosophy - a well-rounded education of mind, body and spirit,'' says principal Jeremy Ludowyke. The school is investigating whether it should run an after-hours and holiday tutoring service, in a bid to curb dependence on private tutors. ''The use of outside tutors isn't something that the school is in a position to prohibit, so to face reality we're having a conversation with parents about it,'' says Mr Ludowyke, who cites a year 11 survey showing about 60 per cent of boys have at least one tutor. ''By engaging with tutoring we might then be in a better position to support students identified by us who might gain from tutoring or recommend there's no benefit for other students to use a tutor.'' At another selective school in Sydney, North Sydney Girls High School, prizes for academic achievement in the junior years were recently replaced with award categories designed to promote a healthy balance in the emotional life of students: resilience, connectedness and innovation. Psychologist Suzy Green of the University of Sydney's coaching psychology unit, was invited to work with the school to reduce high levels of student stress. She says students have been responding well to positive psychology strategies, such as personal goal setting. But selective schools face a long haul in convincing parents to ease their tenacious expectations of academic excellence. ''One of the biggest factors in well-being is choice: kids need to have some level of choice rather than be pushed all the time,'' Dr Green says. ''In selective schools we need to acknowledge the cultural issues, we need more parent education.'' Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/national/education/clever-diligent-and-feeling-the-pressure-20111016-1lram.html#ixzz1azGdMEDi

point cook town center carnival

2011年10月16日
公開
11

今天point cook towncenter嘉年華會 都是給小孩玩的 小小動物園 跳躍城堡 迷你高爾夫 小小保齡球 face painting, 手工氣球, 現場表演 安咕開心的不得了 還碰到他同學 LEO, NATHEN, TRAVIS, RAJEEV 早上還刮風下雨 還好下午就放晴了 但風還是滿蠻大的 冰冰的 但一點沒降低人潮 我陪安咕一樣一樣玩 安咕坐上復古坦克車 有模有樣的操作著 又坐上老爺飛機駕駛座 打高爾夫 丟保齡球 他好開心 後來 我們排隊去拿手工氣球 我們排了好久的隊 其間媽咪問他:"等一下氣球叔叔問你要什麼氣球? 你想好了嗎?" 他說:"我要火車" 媽咪:"沒有做火車氣球的" 他說:"那我要FROG" 過一會兒他說:"不要, 我要一個狗狗氣球, 咖啡色的狗" 終於輪到我們了 氣球叔叔問他:"WHAT DO YOU LIKE?" 安咕說:" I WANT A FLOWER" 咦~~我覺得奇怪, 不是要咖啡狗狗嗎? 我想他可能說錯了, 我跟氣球叔叔說:"HE TOLD ME HE LIKE A DOG" 兒子馬上搖頭:"NO NO NO, I WANT THE FLOWER" 氣球叔叔問他:"YOU CHANGE MIND?" 兒子:" YES" 然後他自己親自選顏色 " I WANT THIS PINK, AND THIS GREEN" 等氣球叔叔做好把一束花朵氣球交給他, 排隊的人都在讚嘆氣球漂亮時, 他馬上把氣球交給我說:" 媽媽, 這是送給你的, 我希望妳高興" 每個小孩都是選自己喜歡的氣球式樣 這麼小的一個小孩 竟會叫叔叔做氣球送給媽媽 媽咪一點都沒想到 媽咪好感動 看看我這個兒子

買房出租的六個誤區

2011年10月13日
公開
14

買房出租的六個誤區 北京新浪網 2011年10月12日 09:19 轉寄給朋友 列印 　　目前，傳統投資工具回報率不高，而住房價格正處於低位。那麼眼下是不是考慮買些住宅以供出租的好時機呢？ 　　Illustration by Scott Pollack 　　如果一切順利，現在投資房地産有可能獲取意外豐厚的利潤。許多地區的房租都在攀升，而且市場上可供出租的房屋可能還會增加。上個月，奧巴馬政府征詢建議，希望能找到辦法將聯邦國民抵押貸款協會(Fannie Mae, 簡稱：房利美)和聯邦住房貸款抵押公司(Freddie Mac, 簡稱：房地美)手中積壓的大量止贖房屋中的至少一部分投入市場，成為能讓人們租得起的房屋。 　　邁克爾·麥克裡裡(Michael McCreary)說，過去，投資者希望獲得的租金回報是房屋總價的1%，也就是說如果一棟住宅的價值是10萬美元，那麼投資者期望的月租金是1,000美元，年回報率為12%。麥克裡裡是房地産中介公司McCreary Realty的老闆，這家公司管理着亞特蘭大地區大約300處房産。麥克裡裡稱，如今他的投資者中一些人得到的房租回報高達房價的2%。 　　不過，一般而言，扣除費用後的平均回報率要大幅降低，大概在房價的5%到6%，房地産市場預測公司Local Market Monitor的總裁因戈·文策爾(Ingo Winzer)表示。即便如此，也比其他許多投資的收益率要高得多。 　　先別急着去找合適的房源，行動之前要記住：擁有可出租住宅是一項耗時、費錢而且麻煩不斷的投資，而且不少投資者都在這上面栽了跟頭。下面我們來對一些常見的誤區做一番了解。 　　誤區一：把廉價交易當作好交易。 　　誠然，你能以極低的價格買到一些房子，不過這並不意味着你就能把這些房子租出去。偏僻地區的住宅不但對買房者毫無吸引力，租客們同樣對這類房子不感興趣。這個道理也適用於那些不那麼受青睞的房産或是位於不太好的學區的房子。 　　房地産管理公司HomePointe Property Management的羅伯特·馬沙多(Robert A. Machado)說，來自舊金山的投資者常常會在薩克拉門托(Sacramento)高價買房，以為那裏的房子能給他們帶來像加州舊金山灣區(Bay Area)一樣高的房租回報，結果卻證明他們支付的價格過高了。馬沙多通過很多途徑來評估房租價格，包括利用FinestExpert.com網站。其他業內人士則建議仔細考察周邊的公寓，不僅要看房租，還要看他們是否提供特別優惠，比如減免幾個月的租金。 　　誤區二：忽略了關鍵成本。 　　單單知道了可能獲得的租金回報還不夠。買房前，你還要考慮到大約占交易總金額3%到6%的交易結算費用、修葺和維護房子的花銷以及你持有房産的成本。然後算上你期望獲得的回報(如果將來想要變賣，還要加上更多的交易結算費用)。只有這樣你才能算出你能買得起什麼樣的房子。 　　誤區三：忘記了時間就是金錢。 　　房地産經銷商HomeVestors Of America的總裁戴維·希克斯(David Hicks)稱，在房地産投資上，時間是你最大的敵人。這家房地産經銷商的座右銘是“我們買醜房子。”如果房子空置沒有人住──不管這時候你是在粉刷房子還是在等待招新租客，你就是在虧錢。如果你在秋季買下一套房子卻等到春季才裝修完，那麼你也在虧錢。從經濟上來看，接受較低的租金比等一個願意付高價的租客或許更劃算。 　　誤區四：以為能坐等租金自己飛進口袋來。 　　房地産公司Get There First Realty的馬克·科萊蒂特(Mark Kreditor)說：“一旦你做了房東，你就成了一個房租催討者。”這家房地産公司在達拉斯-沃思堡地區(Dallas-Fort Worth)管理着1,600家出租房屋。 　　就像買房子的人可能付不起按揭一樣，租房子的人也可能丟掉工作然後無法付房租。趕他們出去可能需要幾周時間，有些租客還會偷屋子裡的電器或是其他東西。科萊蒂特說，一個月總有那麼一兩次，租客在搬出去的時候將屋子裡的銅管偷出去賣廢品。 　　你需要仔細甄別租客──或者花錢請人幫你甄別。 　　誤區五：低估維修成本。 　　跟所有擁有住宅的人一樣，你將面臨大量的維修工作。在你挪開那個破碎的浴缸之後，可能會發現木頭已經腐爛或是發霉了。出租房屋的地毯通常每5年就必須更換一次，而且每次更換租客時，你都必須重新刷一遍房子。全國住宅管理者協會(National Association of Residential Property Managers, 簡稱Narpm)會長托尼·德羅斯特(Tony A. Drost)建議留出6個月的費用以備需要重大維修時使用。 　　誤區六：將擁有出租房屋等同於擁有自己的住宅。 　　人們住自己的房子時可能接受一些瑕疵，租房子住時卻不願湊合。另外，美國許多州和社區都針對房東制定了嚴格(且繁複)的法律，哪怕是你只有這一套住宅也必須遵守。房屋中介能幫你解決大部分麻煩事，不過你需要支付他們一個月的房租作為尋找以及甄別租客的佣金，而且還要支付管理費，最多為月租金的10%。 　　你可以通過Narpm或者房地産管理學會(Institute of Real Estate Management)這些行業組織的網站來找中介公司。另外，許多社區都設有本地的房地産投資者協會(Real Estate Investor Associations)，你可以從他們那裏尋求幫助。 　　Karen Blumenthal