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shin mami

我們都在朝著愛與理解中前進，幸福是必然的!

我們都在朝著愛與理解中前進，幸福是必然的!
shin mami

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Your 4-Year-Old: Talking the Talk

2013年10月29日
公開
51

Talking the Talk How can you tell if your child's language development is on track? Right now, she should be learning several new words every day. So listen for surprises in her vocabulary. How your child explains something that happened provides another clue. It's apt to sound like a story, with a beginning, middle, and end (however brief): This happened, then I did that, and then we went home. Your 4-year-old now Language skills are progressing to near-grade-school proficiency now. Among the highlights: Four-year-olds learn as many as four to six new words every day. Sentences are longer and more complex, containing multiple clauses as well as adverbs and adjectives. Four-year-olds can reason out hypothetical situations such as, "If this happened, what would you do?" They're learning to define the meaning of words and grasp the idea of opposites. They're more proficient storytellers and can relay tales with a beginning, middle, and end. Your child may now be able to adapt her speech to the situation at hand. She may say, "Mommy go bye-bye" to a younger child, compared with "Mom went to the store for milk" when talking to Grandma. Your child is also better able to follow multiple steps: "First cut on this line. Then glue the paper here." Following two or more unrelated directions is another development: "Please bring me my purse and then give the dog some water." You'll notice improvement in pronunciation and grammar, although speech still isn't error-free. Four-year-olds should be understood by strangers essentially all the time, although some sounds are still not perfect. Your life now The best way to instill healthful habits in your child is to develop them yourself. It's hard to forbid drinking soda pop if you down Diet Coke for breakfast. Avoid keeping separate "mom food," "dad food," and "kid food" or referring to food that way. At the playground, don't just sit on your duff and watch; stretch, chase your kids, or do pushups against a bench.

Your 4-Year-Old: Hit the Pool

2013年10月15日
公開
38

Hit the Pool Whether you're inclined to book your child into classes and lessons or not, there's one item every 4-year-old should have on his calendar: swimming lessons. Learning to be safe and comfortable in the water is a must for kids, and doctors say your child now has the muscle coordination and attention span to learn — and retain what he learns for the rest of his life. 美國這麼重視游泳課，四歲就可以開始培養他的肌肉協調和注意力，游泳對於小孩真的很重要，這是除了「鋼琴課」外，可以去探索的課程。 Your 4-year-old now Your child may be like a little fish in the water or he may cower at the edge of the pool. Either way, swimming lessons are a great way to learn water safety and work on coordination. 這幾次帶她泡湯玩水，其實她很喜歡玩水，剛開始會有一點點害怕，之後就敢自己在水中走來走去，或套著泳圈游來游去。 Four is usually a fine age to start. To learn to swim, a child must be mature enough to be in the water with an instructor but without you and must be able to get around without swallowing a lot of water. He needs to be able to pay attention to directions and be able and willing to stop doing something when told to do so. 感覺上小馨應該已經會聽指令了，應該可以讓她學游泳了，住家附近有一個泳池，下次帶她進去瞧瞧！ Start by finding a certified instructor who has experience with young children. Many community pools, sports facilities, and places like the local YMCA offer courses for young beginners. With 4-year-olds, the class needs to be fun; ask if the lessons incorporate music or games. Your child also should be allowed to progress at his own pace; it's not unusual for a child to stay in a beginner class for more than one session. The first go-round might simply be spent getting comfortable in the water. Make sure there's adequate supervision. At this age, a good ratio is one instructor for every four children. For beginners, lessons should cover water safety, as well as basic floating, breathing, and leg and arm movements. Your life now If your 4-year-old is a talker, that's a good thing. Take steps now to be sure that he'll still want to talk to you when he's 14.哈哈哈！好好笑！現在是個chatter box，到了14歲就不是這樣了，記得我青春期的時候，還是很愛跟媽媽聊天、說學校發生的事情，希望我的女兒也會這樣。 有時覺得小馨好吵、聲音又銳利，當我希望好好睡上一覺的時候，總被她的高分貝吵的睡不著，不過四歲的她，講話好好玩、好好笑，讓我有忍不住想聽。 昨晚睡覺時她問我：媽媽，妳會夢到什麼？ 我：彩虹吧！那你呢？ 馨： Cinderalla! 嗯嗯，可愛的小孩，希望你慢慢長大啊！ One of the best ways to foster good communication is also the simplest: Pay attention. Of course it's impossible to give your undivided attention every time your child opens his mouth, but do try to turn to him, look, and listen as much as is feasible. Keeping your eyes on your computer screen or flipping open your cell send the message that your child's words aren't important. So does interrupting him in the middle of a thought. Think how you'd feel.

Your 4-Year-Old: Learning Resbosibility

2013年10月08日
公開
44

Learning Responsibility Having something to dote on, like a plant or pet, is great training for your child's budding sense of responsibility. That doesn't mean you should bring home a puppy just yet, unless you plan to do most of the work yourself. Your child is far from ready to take full responsibility for an animal. What she is ripe for, though, is a chance to help out with small jobs that make her feel useful and teach her what living things need. Your 4-year-old now Your child isn't ready to be responsible for a plant or animal yet. But she is old enough to help out with watering and feeding. These small chores teach responsibility. Helping to take care of a plant or garden is a great first job for preschoolers. They love to watch plants grow, flower, and bear fruit, especially when they feel it's partly their doing. Get a watering can that's easy for your child to hold, even when it's full. It shouldn't be too large, and ideally it should have a very long, thin spout to minimize spills. The first few times, show her how much water to use, then put her in charge. Don't expect her to remember when to water, though. You'll need to remind her. The same goes for feeding your pets. Your child is probably an eager helper, though not ready to initiate the work consistently. She'll need reminders about when to scoop food or fill water bowls. Be sure to teach how to do this safely: Your pet shouldn't be around when food is poured, and your child needs to know never to tease him or try to take his food away. Animals may snap to protect their food. Your life now Now's a great time to initiate "family night" or "pizza-and-movie night" in your household. Your child is old enough to appreciate a special ritual and will be one of its strongest keepers once the routine gets started. Some families hold an "unplugged" night where there are no electronics, only board games or other old-fashioned activities. Some hit a family-friendly restaurant for Sunday brunch. The main idea is to do something together as a group on a regular basis. It's an idea that can help keep your family close in the years to come.

Your 4-Year Old: Routine Matters

2013年10月01日
公開
45

Routine Matters No matter how free-spirited and even defiant your preschooler can sometimes be, know that structure is the best thing for him and your entire household. When children don't know what's happening next, they can feel anxious. And anxious children are irritable, angry, uncooperative, and unhappy. Routines offer security and reassurance. In addition to having clearly stated family rules, many families find that using chore charts and incentive programs encourages good behavior. 我也覺得能給孩子一個固定的、規律的生活常規是很重要的事，小孩很聰明，他知道許多原則在家裡是適用的，但在阿公阿媽家就可以隨便，因為阿公阿媽並不會給小孩這種束縛或原則，反而是讓她盡情發揮精力，而這就是讓我不快樂的原因之一。 舉例來說，有天晚上在外面吃飯，因為椅子較多排成一排，小馨坐下來之後阿公就問她要不要脫襪子在椅子上，我一聽之後馬上制止，但已經來不及了，小馨樂得脫下襪子在椅子上跳來跳去...唉，這個阿公不是最討厭自己的孫子這樣沒教養嗎？想不到孫子不在，他卻同意小馨可以如法炮製，這豈不令人生氣！！？？ Your 4-year-old now What do chore charts, incentive programs, and family rules have in common? They all offer the structure that a 4-year-old needs. They let your child know what's expected of him: "If I clean up my toys all week and Mommy marks off each day on the chart, I get a trip to the dollar store." 這招我也用在今早（10/8）的起床事件上，話說我調到新單位後，必須要9點前到勤，因此每天早上我都精神緊繃、總是不耐煩+語氣不好地催促小孩起床、穿衣、穿襪、穿鞋...每次的下場都是小馨大哭、我像惡婆娘般結束一天的早起，因此這次我想了方法，睡前就跟她說，如果她可以乖乖起床、不哭不鬧地穿衣服，直到上車前都不亂哭，那就可以得到10塊錢，累積多了，我們就將錢捐給貧苦的孩子... 這小妞今早果然說到做到，直到我下車離開她都表現良好...我真的很高興！！ Admittedly, rules and programs are a lot of work to maintain. You have to think them up, explain them to your child, and then be consistent about following through. Make it easier on yourself — and boost your odds of successful results — by not using more than one incentive chart at a time. It can be hard to stick to a routine when you're juggling schedules of multiple children or if you have a demanding job, but if you can dig in and stay consistent, you'll reap the rewards. Often the very presence of a chart inspires your child to keep up with it even when you forget. Don't be surprised if he's the one reminding you that he did his chore and is ready for a gold star. Your life now Your child can brush his teeth (somewhat), wash and dry his hands and face, and perhaps comb his hair — well, sort of. No doubt you're happy to check those tasks off your daily to-do list. Cutting nails is one chore your child won't be ready to take over for a while, but some kids like to help by working an emery board over the rough spots after you finish or by having you cut each nail almost all the way and letting them tug it off themselves.

Your 4-Year-Old: Rise and Shine!

2013年09月24日
公開
48

Rise and Shine! The early bird catches the worm — but sometimes also catches grief from a sleepy parent who isn't ready to play at 5 a.m. You can't control the exact times your child actually falls asleep or wakes up. The best you can do is to instill routines that encourage predictable sleeping and waking times — and have a plan in your back pocket for when things go awry. 希望這種情形不要發生啊！小馨很少很少早上五點起床說睡不著，不過倒是有一次，不到六點就醒來，然後自己打開電視看，當然這樣一來我也沒睡好啊！ Your 4-year-old now: Often, 4-year-olds who are otherwise good sleepers wake up too early, long before the rest of the household is ready to start the day. If it's a chronic issue, the trouble may be too much napping or a bedtime that's too early. Most 4-year-olds have given up naps, but if she's still napping longer than 30 minutes, keep in mind this will be subtracted from her nighttime sleep. 是啊，小馨已經不用午睡了，在家裡要帶她午睡也是件困難的事情，反而不如讓她繼續玩玩玩，撐到晚上八九點反而容易入睡，不過有時下午在外面玩，一上車就想睡覺，要注意不要讓她睡太久，不然會影響晚上睡眠啊！ If early wake-up calls happen only sporadically, there's no harm done, and you don't need to get up early, too. By 4, your child is old enough to understand that she shouldn't wake up others but is welcome to stay quietly in her room (or come and join you for a morning snuggle). Keep quiet playthings in her room. Try leaving out fresh books at night so she'll have something interesting to look at when she wakes up.我覺得這點建議實在太棒了！在她房間放幾本「新鮮」的讀本，萬一她提早起床，就有事情可以做，而不是只會打開電視看（唉唉...我真是不良示範啊） Agree on a signal that indicates it's time to "get up" and leave the room: your alarm clock going off, for example, or your calling to her. Try putting an analog clock without a second hand in her room and place a sticker on the hour at which it's OK to get up. Your life now: Now is a good time to check whether your child's immunization record is up-to-date. This is a requirement for enrolling in kindergarten, so if your child's annual exam falls after the school registration date, you may need to make a special appointment to get shots taken care of. For example, the final doses of DTP (diphtheria-tetanus-pertussis), MMR (measles-mumps-rubella), and polio are due between ages 4 and 6.

Your 4-Year-Old: TV: Friend or Foe?

2013年09月17日
公開
43

TV: Friend or Foe? Children's fantasy lives really begin to take off during this year, and the lines between reality and fantasy can be blurry. What they see on TV or in a movie can confuse them in ways that surprise you. This is part of the reason it's important to monitor your child's media diet. Your 4-year-old now At 4, your child may have trouble understanding that TV characters — even if they're cartoons — aren't real. Unless he's watching something created for preschoolers, it's wise to stick close by while the TV is on. When someone dies or gets hurt on a show, for example, you may want to explain that it's just pretend. Kids don't really understand the difference between the show and the commercials, so explain that commercials sometimes stretch the truth to get you to buy something. If you're not sure what's age-appropriate, try to think as your child would: If I believed this was real, would it scare the pants off me? (How many children have had nightmares after watching the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz?) If your child does get scared, don't dismiss his fears as irrational. As much as you tell him something's not real, he'll still have trouble believing it. Better to say you understand how he feels and reassure him that he's safe with you. Your life now Struggling with the mountains of paper that document every stroke of your child's creative output since he first learned to hold a crayon? Save them — but virtually. Scan the artwork and save it on your hard drive. Post favorites on a family website or e-mail them to Grandma. Give pictures of people top billing — your child will love to watch a slide show of his evolving style as he gets older. Getting rid of the bulk will allow you to happily keep a few choice pieces on display around the house and on the refrigerator. You can later date and file away your favorites in a large envelope or portfolio.

Your 4-Year-Old: Girls Will Be Girls

2013年09月10日
公開
43

Girls Will Be Girls Children's ideas about gender are both inborn and learned, research shows. Four-year-olds are keen social scientists, carefully watching how people behave. They use visual cues like hair and dress to help them figure out the differences between males and females. Now that they understand that boys and girls are different, they're working to understand the different behaviors associated with each gender. 嘻嘻！這件事情一定要紀錄一下！ 早上全家出門，把拔因為要參加正式的論壇發表，所以穿了西裝，小馨在電梯稱讚把拔好帥（可惜把拔已經先離開電梯倒垃圾，沒聽到她的讚美），我回說：那我們都不帥喔.... 馨說：沒關係啊！我們可以很漂亮啊！ 果然，她知道「帥」是用來稱讚男生，女生要說「漂亮」，這大概也是她認知男女生的差別吧！ Your 4-year-old now At 4, kids' notions of the roles of males and females are becoming more defined. A daughter, for example, knows Dad's a boy, she's a girl, and she's working on figuring out what dads do differently from moms. She may not be entirely clear, though, that all moms are female and all dads are male. While she can identify males and females by their dress and general appearance, she can still be fooled. If she sees a man wearing a kilt or sporting a ponytail — exceptions that go against the "rules" she's absorbed over time — she may think he's a woman or that his sex can change. As children observe and imitate people of the same sex, they may adopt stereotypical attitudes in an effort to get the role just right. They may express disdain for a girl who plays football or for a boy who wants to play with the girls. Even in families that have tried to provide lots of gender-neutral play, this age brings out exaggeratedly stereotyped behaviors and attitudes like, "Girls never do that!" While accepting such stereotypes is normal for a child this age, you can encourage your child to see beyond labels. Question any generalizations your child may make or hear in the media. If your son says, "Girls can't play hockey," show him pictures of the women's Olympic team. Remember, too, that parents often unwittingly reinforce gender stereotypes. Do you compliment your daughter on her appearance rather than her actions? Do you tell your son to toughen up when he cries? Many parents are surprised to find their sons cross-dressing at this age during play, but there's no reason to think it means anything about their sexual orientation. Four-year-olds like to copy one another and build on one another's imaginary play scenes. Gender is very much an evolving concept at 4. Your life now Often, 4-year-olds are excited to hear a favorite evening babysitter is coming. Make the time more special by having certain board games that only come out for the sitter (maybe the ones that drive you insane with boredom because you've had to play them a zillion times). Leave a special treat they'll both enjoy, and you'll come home to a happy kid and a happy sitter. 我們沒有幫小馨找sitter，或者說在台灣，阿公阿媽就是最好的sitter，一般人不會另外找保母看小孩，我們當然也沒有找，都是自己顧小孩。其實小孩很需要有玩伴，應該找她的同學來playdates，不過....礙於我比較害羞不主動，不曉得如何跟其他家長提這件事，因此小馨還沒有這樣的體驗。 再過兩年她就要上學了，小學後找playdates會更不容易，我何時能夠有這個勇氣跟其他家長說呢...?

Your 4-Year-Old: Hold Off on Sports

2013年09月03日
公開
45

Wondering what kind of sport your child should take up? For most 4-year-olds, the question is premature. While some show an early interest in athletics, many won't be enthusiastic for quite a while. The healthiest course for all preschoolers — even the ones who seem like promising athletes — is to get daily physical activity in lots of ways, including plenty of undirected play. 的確！一直很想讓小馨去學個才藝、練習腳踏車...等等，但都沒有行動，現在文字上說，四歲小孩的持續力還是不夠，我想我可以稍微安心一點點，因為小馨真的是這樣，自行車買了，也很有興趣騎了，但都持續不久就放棄。現在她有時會說要談鋼琴、要當音樂家，我是不是該當真呢？ Your 4-year-old now It's generally considered premature to think about sports for a 4-year-old. Most fours still lack the physical or mental skills necessary to enjoy learning a game (like the ability to pay attention, focus, and follow rules). At this age, they're also starting to feel more self-conscious. Striking out in front of a big crowd may lead to tears and frustration and turn them off sports for good. 「四歲的小孩還是太以自我為中心，多數的小孩仍缺乏毅力，太多的受挫會讓他們缺乏耐心且降低對運動的熱忱」。昨天才聽老師說，小馨與同學一起拔河，結果小馨力氣大、個頭也大，很容易就扳倒對方，結果同學就哭了....其實是在上英文課，談論"stronger"一字，想想四歲小孩還是不肯認輸的，也很可愛啦！ So what should you do for now? All kids hone their physical skills through play. An hour of exercise is the minimum recommended for this age, so make sure they get plenty of backyard or park time. Clambering on playground equipment or riding a bike works as well as playing catch. Once your child becomes more coordinated, in elementary school, he'll be more ready for organized sports and more enthusiastic about the idea. And as his personal interests and abilities blossom, it'll be easier to find a good match for him. Your life now You're probably a pro by now at praising your child for good behavior like picking up toys. Help encourage respectful behavior by giving positive reinforcement for politeness, too. Comments like, "Thank you for saying 'please' when you asked for dessert" or "Thank you for not interrupting me on the phone" teach your child that these efforts are worthwhile, too. Teach him how to politely greet both children and adults.

Your 4 1/4-year-old: Playing Make-believe

2013年08月27日
公開
43

Playing Make-believe Your child's imagination is boundless. This year, maybe more than any other, you'll see that creativity during play. It's through fantasy that your child tries on different roles and "practices" new experiences and emotions. You don't need to buy anything special to encourage imaginative play. Your child can cast himself as the lead in any drama he can think up without a single theater-quality prop. Imaginary要開始了嗎？好期待喔！其實光跟小馨一起玩，就見識到她豐富的想像力：這一秒她可以是老闆、下一分鐘馬上變小孩，我常常被弄的無所適從，不過也真好玩啦！ Your 4-year-old now Sticks become swords. Blankets transform into superhero capes. Preschoolers love to use props to enter the world of make-believe. At four, your child's imagination is in hyperdrive. She can become whomever she chooses — a fossil hunter, mother, or pilot. Pretend play allows your child to explore new roles, resolve problems, and negotiate relationships. Her fantasy creates longer, more complex dramas that can roll in others, so now play scenes can last many hours or be repeated across several days. 棍子可以變弓箭、毛毯是超人的外衣....小馨還不致於如此，不過最近幾天晚上已經在玩"hide and seek"的遊戲，她就像鴕鳥一樣，只要將自己全身躲起來、用毛巾蓋住，就算是「躲」了，當然我們可以很快找到她。反觀當把拔躲起來時，因為家裡很大，她不敢獨自進入黑漆漆的房間，只好拉著我一起找，或耍賴不玩了....四歲小孩還很單純！真幸福！ 話說回來，這樣的想像力說是可以讓小孩更有創造力、適應能力愈強，呵！我也希望小馨不要這麼快長大，她的preschooler童年只有兩年了，好難過這四年過的這麼快啊！ To help her travel to these fantasy worlds, keep a box of props on hand — the more versatile the better. Your old shoes and cast-off clothes spur more creativity than store-bought character costumes. You may also be surprised how many uses your child can find for the same object: A basket can carry goodies to Grandma or be a sailing ship for her doggie. Look around the house for ideas. Empty cereal boxes and broken toasters can stock a pretend kitchen. Stuffed animals and cardboard bricks become a zoo. If you keep the objects in a box or trunk, rotate them occasionally. Your child will love rummaging through to see what's new. Your life now Make your life a little easier by encouraging your child to pick up after herself — in the playroom, her bedroom, the bathroom. Don't wait till a room's a wreck to tidy. Instead, build some cleanup time into daily routines; before you move to the next activity (say, from bath to bed), spend a few minutes having "pickup time" together. Eventually your child will learn to anticipate this ritual. At this age, a simple command to "clean up your room" won't work without you breaking down that overwhelming task and working with her on it, at least as the "executive organizer."

Your 4-Yeaar Old: Your Little Reporter

2013年08月13日
公開
45

Your Little Reporter Who, what, when, where, how, and why are the standards of a good reporter. And that's what your child is now — gathering up all the facts and turning them into stories and conversations that make sense. Nonstop questions can drive parents crazy, but if you go with the flow they can also be a charming way to engage with your child, while clueing her in about the workings of the world. Your 4-year-old now Conversations can sometimes feel like interrogations with curious, chatty 4-year-olds. A particular favorite now is the "wh" words: Where are we going, Mom? When will we get there? Who are we going to see? Why isn't Dad coming with us? As part of her new mental abilities, she's getting all the connections put together. She wants to see the order of things. Another reason for the nonstop questions is that your child's vocabulary is exploding, and she wants to practice using words to probe her world. Intellectually, she's beginning to understand that there are reasons for things — and she wants to know what they are. Try not to brush off questions, relentless though they may be. Keep your answers short and sweet. She doesn't really want a long-winded scientific explanation of why the sky is blue. When you get tired of answering, ask questions back instead: "What do you think?" If you notice a persistent theme to questions that show your child is really curious about something — say, clouds — visit the library together and check out a few books that fuel the interest. Who knows where her questions may take you? At the very least, you'll learn how to tell a cirrus from a cumulus. Your life now Perseverance is an important trait to model for your child. Studies show that people who are persistent — rather than those who have high IQs — tend to achieve greater success in life. Let your child see you going the extra mile, whether it's fixing something around the house or sticking with the same project such as a big book or a painting night after night.