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shin mami

我們都在朝著愛與理解中前進，幸福是必然的!

我們都在朝著愛與理解中前進，幸福是必然的!
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Your 4-Year-Old: Peer Pressure

2013年07月30日
公開
45

Peer Pressure, Preschooler Style Peer pressure is generally associated with school-age children, but it can begin in the preschool years. It starts in a benign enough way: Your child wants to make his buddies happy and fit in. Understanding that everyone doesn't have to be alike in order to get along comes from practice and your own good example. 最後一句話我一定要牢記！！小孩的行為都來自父母的親身示範，了解每個人的不同點、每個人都有特殊性，是很重要的！不必要每個小孩都要一樣！！ Your 4-year-old now Don't be surprised if you encounter a scenario like this: All of the sudden, your son spurns his beloved Spiderman toy. Ask why, and you find out that his friends told him that Superman is king. Spiderman's a wimp. Your son is trying to be like his new pals. Even at 4, peer pressure is a reality. In fact, this is often when it enters your child's life, as he attends preschool and spends more free time playing with friends. Your child is more adept now at reaching out to other children and playing cooperatively.小馨的同儕壓力似乎不明顯，不過有時會聽她說，xxx不跟我玩、今天xxx有跟我一起玩耶，好高興！不知道這樣算不算同儕壓力？不過至少很明顯的，她與小朋友接觸愈多、影響也愈大，是因為她是獨身女的關係嗎？如果她還有其他兄弟姊妹，應該比較不會受同儕影響吧？ He's aiming to please, wanting to get along and fit in. You may, for similar reasons, begin to hear things like, "Claire has a TV in her room. Can I have one?" 哈哈哈！這點倒是沒聽她講過，她與同儕的似乎比較少，也許是因為白天都在園所，老師都是公平地、不會有有獨特待遇的關係吧！ Your best response is to gently explain that different people have different ideas about what they like or enjoy, and that's okay. Families have different rules, too. Remember that peer pressure can be a positive force; it's amazing what kids will do when they spy a friend doing it. Send them to a pal's for dinner and they may come home proudly boasting they ate green beans or some other food they won't go near at home. 唉唉！因為家裡只有小馨一個小孩，我一直想找她的好朋友到家裡playdates，不過我與這些把拔馬麻都不熟，人家大概也不會讓自己的小孩到我們家玩，因此她一直缺乏玩伴，不過在國外，這樣的情形好像很普遍哩！ Your life now Here's a good line to teach your child: "May I please be excused?" Young kids have shorter attention spans than adults. They might not last as long at a lengthy meal or during a visit. Giving them a polite way to bow out can head off misbehavior.

Your 4-Year-Old: Mastering the Basics

2013年07月23日
公開
50

Mastering the Basics Having a child makes you realize how many of the simple acts we take for granted every day are learned, not inborn. Take cutting with a knife and fork: Although your child can handle a spoon and fork well one at a time, coordinating two utensils is trickier. More examples of basics you need to teach: how to sneeze without spewing germs and how to lick around the base of an ice cream cone so it doesn't drip. 沒錯！這些基本技能不是天生就會的，大人看似簡單的擤鼻涕、拿筷子動作，對於小小孩來說都是要學習，尤其擤鼻涕，小馨終於在三歲時學會了，之前她鼻子不好，總覺得鼻涕留在鼻腔中，因此導致鼻竇炎等生病，吃足了苦頭。還有拿筷子也要學習，小馨已經很厲害了，不過還不是很純熟，用湯匙吃飯比較不會掉滿地。 p.s.還有一個basics需要學習，就是「蹲」的動作，小馨不會蹲，每次蹲下來洗屁屁就會跌倒，很懷疑這個動作小小孩為什麼做不好？ Your 4-year-old now Preschoolers who read independently are the exception. These early readers use picture clues and have learned to match letters to sounds and words. They may have longer attention spans and have memorized a few sight words. (Sight words are common words like "and," "the," "her," and "there" that can't be learned through pictures.) If your child is an early reader, you don't need to do anything more than offer encouragement and provide plenty to read. If your child isn't on the fast track, don't give it another worry. At 4, many children just aren't ready to sit still and focus on a book for long. Others may learn the mechanics of reading but aren't cognitively ready to comprehend the words. Reading is truly one of those skills that children acquire when they're darn well ready, no matter how much their parents or teachers coax. In fact, too much prodding can turn your child off reading. Right now, it's most important to get your child excited about books. If he loves stories and language, he'll start putting the basic elements together on his own when it's right for him. That happens at age 5 for some kids, 6 or 7 for others. Your life now Running out of fun local excursions because it seems like you've already done everything a dozen times already? Here are some fresh ideas that fascinate 4-year-olds: The firehouse. Even if it doesn't offer tours, just stopping by and seeing the fire engines up close is a winner. Your child may be ready to ask the firefighters questions, especially if you read about fire trucks ahead of time. The airport. The vastness of the lobby and the moving sidewalks can be as much fun as seeing the planes take off and land. Your child may be interested in where the planes are going, what the pilots do, how the suitcases get on board, or how they put food on the plane. A farmers' market. It's more fun than a grocery store, with more people to watch and often live music. Go on a hunt for a particular vegetable or fruit. Practice counting skills on tomatoes or oranges. A garden shop. Even the flowers and plants at the local hardware superstore offer a close-up look at some new-to-your-child greenery. Buy a hardy, fast-growing plant for him to take care of himself. Go on a smelling tour in the flower and herb section.

Your 4-Uear-Old: Ready to Read?

2013年07月16日
公開
51

Comparing your child's abilities to his peers' is an irresistible impulse that persists long after those infant developmental milestone charts have been left behind. Among parents of 4-year-olds, reading is a topic that can cause a lot of anxiety, especially when those first few kids start reading. Whether you have an early bird or a kid who's more on track with his age-mates, what's important now is to keep the books coming. Your 4-year-old now Preschoolers who read independently are the exception. These early readers use picture clues and have learned to match letters to sounds and words. They may have longer attention spans and have memorized a few sight words. (Sight words are common words like "and," "the," "her," and "there" that can't be learned through pictures.) If your child is an early reader, you don't need to do anything more than offer encouragement and provide plenty to read. If your child isn't on the fast track, don't give it another worry. At 4, many children just aren't ready to sit still and focus on a book for long. Others may learn the mechanics of reading but aren't cognitively ready to comprehend the words. Reading is truly one of those skills that children acquire when they're darn well ready, no matter how much their parents or teachers coax. In fact, too much prodding can turn your child off reading. Right now, it's most important to get your child excited about books. If he loves stories and language, he'll start putting the basic elements together on his own when it's right for him. That happens at age 5 for some kids, 6 or 7 for others. Your life now Running out of fun local excursions because it seems like you've already done everything a dozen times already? Here are some fresh ideas that fascinate 4-year-olds: The firehouse. Even if it doesn't offer tours, just stopping by and seeing the fire engines up close is a winner. Your child may be ready to ask the firefighters questions, especially if you read about fire trucks ahead of time. The airport. The vastness of the lobby and the moving sidewalks can be as much fun as seeing the planes take off and land. Your child may be interested in where the planes are going, what the pilots do, how the suitcases get on board, or how they put food on the plane. A farmers' market. It's more fun than a grocery store, with more people to watch and often live music. Go on a hunt for a particular vegetable or fruit. Practice counting skills on tomatoes or oranges. A garden shop. Even the flowers and plants at the local hardware superstore offer a close-up look at some new-to-your-child greenery. Buy a hardy, fast-growing plant for him to take care of himself. Go on a smelling tour in the flower and herb section.

Your 4-Year-Old: Kids That Go Bump in the Night

2013年07月09日
公開
41

Kids That Go Bump in the Night Sleep problems still crop up for 4-year-olds. Two common scenarios are the preschooler who refuses to go to sleep by herself and the preschooler who migrates from her bed to yours in the middle of the night. A secure bedtime routine and consistency go a long way toward remedying both problems. 唉唉....已經四歲了，睡眠果然是個問題啊！直到現在小馨還是想跟我睡，不願意自己一個人睡，即使睡前我倆有任何不愉快，such as 不聽話罵了她、不好好洗澡吃飯...只要我說（問）到晚上不跟你睡、或晚上跟誰睡？我總是她的第一選擇，似乎都忘了剛剛的不愉快。換句話說，即使把拔對她再好，只要睡覺了，她還是找媽媽，這就是我百絲不得其解的原因，而且從她出生到現在，從沒有一個晚上離開過我（只有一次夜宿橘子樹）。 Your 4-year-old now Four-year-olds need about 11 1/2 to 12 hours of sleep a night. One of the biggest sleep problems among preschoolers is refusing to stay alone in their own bed at night. 沒錯！她拒絕一個人入睡，可能因為害怕黑夜（或者我講了太多虎姑婆、大野狼、貓頭鷹...來嚇她），現在也還沒堅持一定要她自己入睡，畢竟抱著一個軟肥肥的小寶貝入眠，也是蠻幸福的！哈！ If this sounds familiar, it helps to have an idea of what's causing the problem. Sometimes a child is jealous of a new or younger sibling. Making a fuss at bedtime can be your preschooler's bid for attention she feels she's missing out on during the day. Spending several short stretches of one-on-one time with your preschooler during the day can help relieve her anxiety. So can having a consistent bedtime ritual. 小馨是獨身女，沒有其他兄弟姊妹來分享爸媽的愛，而且她對表姊妹的態度也很坦然，不會和她們吃醋，我想如果有第二個小孩，上述這些症狀會比較明顯，但現在都沒有啊... Fears (of the dark, of the monster in the closet) are another common cause of bedtime resisting. It's best to be respectful, not dismissive, of them. Look for ways to help your child feel stronger and more secure: Spraying an imaginary "monster-proofing suit" on her before bed, for example. 其實我對她講這些scary話也是一種測試，等到哪天她已經不怕年獸、虎姑婆、貓頭鷹...動物時，我就知道她長大了，四歲的她還是處於會害怕階段，想想也是蠻好玩地，不過真的不希望她長大後影響，有任何陰影啦！ For some kids this age, transitioning from a family bed to a bed in their own room is difficult. For others, there's no obvious reason for refusing solo sleep. Some sleep experts recommend lying down next to your child until she's asleep, though this can become a tough habit to break. Others suggest checking back every few minutes until your child falls asleep for a few weeks. If your child migrates to your bed in the middle of the night, lead her calmly and quietly back to her own room, explaining that your room is for adults only, at least until it's light outside. Whatever approach you take, consistency and firmness will help you achieve your goal more quickly. Your life now Make a quick inventory of your medicine cabinet. Now that your child is entering the scrapes-and-cuts years, be sure you have bandages of various sizes, tweezers for slivers, antibiotic ointment, and other basics on hand — and that your babysitter or anyone you leave in charge knows where they are. Also keep children's acetaminophen or ibuprofen in the house, safely stored where your child can't reach it, and ask babysitters to call you first if they think she needs a dose. Keep an ice pack (or a designated bag of frozen peas) in the freezer. Hint: Those kid-friendly bandages patterned with favorite characters really do heal boo-boos faster — especially when accompanied by a hug.

Your 4-Year-Old: Sorting It Out

2013年07月02日
公開
44

Sorting It Out Your child is becoming a master sorter — which is great news, because sorting helps him learn about math, colors, and opposites. Many 4-year-olds sort spontaneously. They might separate out the trucks from the cars or line stuffed animals up from biggest to smallest. You can also encourage sorting around the house — pretty much anything is sortable. And if helping your child practice sorting also gets the silverware put away or the socks paired up, well, so much the better! Sorting這件事情對小馨不是難事，每次玩具過後，要她收拾，只要她願意，她收得比誰都要好！哪一種玩具放在哪裡、哪一個小零件屬於哪一個玩具...她都很清楚！其實我困惑的是另一件事情：Organization and order! 小馨對於事情有一定的規則與規律，or she gets things organized in her own order. 舉例來說，原本她挨著我坐在沙發上，後來我起身拿個東西後，就坐到另一個位置上，竟然惹得她不快樂，直說「馬麻，我不跟你玩了..」。我不理解，不過就是個位置，為什麼她這麼在乎我前後位置坐的不一樣，還有很多小小事情，都可以看出她對事情的堅持...不知道這樣的個性以後會不會改？會不會讓她陷入死胡同裡去？ Your 4-year-old now You can help boost basic thinking skills by encouraging your child to sort things around the house. Four-year-olds love to sort, and while they're having fun they learn more about colors, numbers, shapes, sizes, and opposites. Look around your house and collect a pile of similar objects — spare coins, buttons, cars, or blocks. It doesn't matter what you choose as long as the items are in the same category but not identical. Then ask your child to sort the objects. You might suggest sorting them into color piles or piles of similar shapes or sizes. "Put all the square blocks in one pile and the circle blocks in another." Or, "Put the trucks here and the cars there." When he's done sorting, count the pieces with him and sort them in another way. Arrange them from largest to smallest, for example. Sorting plays a role in household chores, too. Let him help sort laundry or silverware. Sorting comes in awfully handy in cleaning up toy rooms, too. Create labeled bins for toys: The cars go in one bin, the art supplies in another, and the dolls in another. The variations on sorting games are endless. Best of all: He's learning — and working — without even knowing it. Your life now When your child complains about something, your first impulse might be exasperation or impatience. But try to be empathetic. A complaint is an opinion, and you want your child to understand that it's good to say what he thinks and that his feelings matter. Help him articulate exactly what's bothering him in words that don't hurt anyone's feelings. 教育過程中要不傷小孩的感情，以免她長大後有不良影響實在太難了！ 這真是家長一輩子的功課啊！

Your 4-Year-Old: New Love of Rules

2013年06月25日
公開
43

New Love of Rules Rules keep life better organized and more efficient for all of us. They also let kids know what's acceptable and what's not. You already knew that — but did you know that 4-year-olds adore rules? They love the confidence they get from knowing the ropes. In fact, their respect for rules can sometimes border on the obsessive — kids can be stricter than their parents about making exceptions! Your 4-year-old now Four-year-olds love rules. Rules offer structure and security. When your child knows what's expected of her, it's easier to navigate daily life. That's why, at 4, your preschooler actually enjoys following the procedures created for her at home and at school. She relies on rules when she plays, too. You might hear her hatch her own guidelines for games, for example. When you're teaching her board games or card games, it's okay to relax the rules a little. Playing cooperatively, plotting strategy together, or letting her have an extra turn can minimize frustration. When she plays with friends, though, she'll quickly find out that her peers are a lot less lenient. Preschoolers are sticklers for following the letter of the law. They'll quarrel over who broke the rules in a game of duck, duck, goose ("You didn't run the right way!"). This respect for rules helps with discipline. Since your child understands what rules are for, she also understands what can happen if she breaks them. That's the foundation of self-control, which is what discipline is really all about. Your life now Make sure your whole family makes time for breakfast. It's the most-skipped meal, partly because adults are too busy and kids often wake up not hungry. Eating breakfast is a good habit for your child, though, because fueling the brain after a night's sleep is linked to better grades in school, better behavior, fewer attention problems, and less chance of obesity. You're all apt to feel on a more even keel and eat better throughout the day if you have breakfast. Set things up the night before so this meal doesn't add to the morning stress

Your 4-Year-Old: The Name Game

2013年06月18日
公開
46

The Name Game You might have spent months picking out just the right name for your child. And now he's mighty proud of it. Young children come to feel very possessive about their name — and the letters that make it up. One of the first words a child tries to spell, in fact, is his own name. This often happens months before he has much interest in spelling other words, and you can help make it happen. 哇！NAME GAME!外國人名字是拼音，可以從學習如何拼自己的名字開始，但是在台灣，我們都是教他們認ㄅ、ㄆ、ㄇ，當然英文字母也會教，最近就發現小馨自己看著iphone，跟著唱ABC song，實在很有趣，想錄下她唱ABC歌曲的模樣，但若被她發現我們在錄音，她一定就不肯唱了... Your 4-year-old now Children's names are very special to them. In fact, your child's name may be the first word he learns to recognize and read. Around age 4, he'll probably start to show an interest in writing his name, too. (Kids with short names have an advantage here, but even those with longer names will probably try.) 哈！美國小孩跟我們一樣耶，名字短的比較好認、比較好寫，當初我們命名「馨」字，就想她以後會不會怪我們名字筆劃這麼多，讓她不好學習，或被罰寫名字怎麼辦...呵呵！ At some point, they recognize certain letters as belonging to their name, or being "theirs." They might even get pretty proprietary; many children think the letters belong solely to them. "Hey, that's an S. That's my letter!" Sam might say when he sees Stella using it to write her name. 對對！小馨也會這樣，看到自己的名字會認出來，這是我的「馨」耶！而且她對自己名字很執著（不知是不是金牛座個性關係），都不能胡亂幫她改名、叫別的名稱，一定要她認可才行，like "貝貝"，真是好笑哩！ At first, your child may recite the letters as he writes them. Most children start out drawing letters randomly over the page. They may not look as if they're in sequence, but he's probably writing them in order, just not in a straight line. 我想台灣小孩練習自己的名字應該要更晚以後吧，畢竟中文字不好寫，好像在畫畫，現在梓熏可以寫自己的名字，而且很漂亮、很進步，我想小馨應該也要再兩年後學寫名字比較適合吧！ Help him practice by printing his name in large letters on paper and having him trace over it with his finger or a pencil or crayon. If you laminate the paper, he can use a highlighter to trace his name, erase it, and try again. Your life now When your child is sick with a fever, you likely know it even before you reach for a thermometer: Your bundle of energy may be oddly quiet and listless. Much as you might hanker for a quick cure, remember that most childhood fevers are caused by viruses and won't respond to antibiotics. Don't expect to be handed a prescription if your doctor decides the illness is just a cold or even an ear infection. （台美醫生果然大不同！台灣醫生遇到小孩耳朵感染、發炎，比較常開抗生素，美國醫生處置就淡然多了！多喝水、多休息是不二法門，讓小孩自然痊癒，用身體的抗體打敗壞細菌）。Administer lots of TLC and liquids. Talk to your child about how strong his body is and how it's busy fighting off the sickness. Enjoy the temporary need for extra cuddles and care. Your child's increasing independence will make those moments fewer and farther between as he grows. 嗚嗚！小孩一下子就長大了，一下子就不需要把拔馬麻了，這點我倒是體會良多，從小時候要媽媽唱歌才能入睡、要馬麻在旁邊才敢自己下床...她一點一滴在長大，媽媽真是既感動又感慨....

Your 4-year-old: I Can Do It Myself!!(Gaining independence)

2013年06月11日
公開
54

I Can Do It Myself! To encourage independence, you need to give your child a chance to try. Of course, this often ends with you wanting to scream because she's taking so long or is about to spill or break something while trying. Still, it's important to give her lots of opportunities to practice. Your patience will be rewarded with a child who really can do things "all by myself." 是的！我最近也逐漸在調整心態，希望小馨可以really help something!記得自己小時候，大人總不要小孩碰廚房的東西：危險、妳還太小...老實說，自己一直深受這種觀念影響，直到最近看了寶寶樹某位媽媽的日記，我才恍然：若不培養小孩動手做、讓她參與家事，那她長大就真的不會做家事，或者做得很糟糕... 因此，現在只要我在廚房忙，小馨也會過來湊一腳，我會讓她幫忙洗菜、幫忙微波、將食物放電鍋蒸熟，雖然都要盯著，但總比她自己玩玩具不甘寂寞來得好！ Your 4-year-old now "I can do it myself!" your child hollers as you're getting her dressed in the morning (or when she's brushing her teeth, helping set the table, or doing just about anything, it sometimes seems). 至於穿衣服，每天早起都很匆忙，因此都是我抱著她在她半夢半醒間幫她穿好衣服，因此目前她對穿衣還沒有太多意見（不過我想那一天很快會來臨..)。至於setting the table，有時也會讓她幫忙擺碗筷，我想讓她參與大人生活是很重要的一部分，這樣她也可以漸漸融入大人的生活，以後這個小孩就會自己獨立，大人就無需操煩地這麼累人！（現在出門她已經會自己穿鞋，希望繼續保持） As your child's motor skills develop, she's likely to push away your helping hands and want to do things solo. It may try your patience, but don't deprive her of these moments of self-sufficiency by stepping in too quickly to help. At four, your child should be able to dress herself, although she may still be frustrated by zippers and snaps. To speed things up, try mixing user-friendly clothes into her wardrobe, like pants with an elastic waistband or shoes with Velcro. 會自己穿衣服嗎？下次要讓她試試看，簡單有鈕扣衣服她會穿，但是套頭的上衣她就穿不來了。 One thing you'll still need to supervise is tooth brushing. A 4-year-old isn't coordinated enough to clean her teeth properly. Do let her try alone for a bit before you step in for the "finishing touches." (Her twice-annual dentist visits will let you know how well she's doing.)沒錯！刷牙這件事還沒辦法讓她自己做，都是我先刷好、刷乾淨了才讓她自己刷著玩，希望她擁有一口好牙齒！ At meals, put drinks in a small, easy-to-use pitcher and let her pour her own. Cereal is also fairly simple for small hands to pour. Her glow of pride as she fixes her own breakfast makes the spills and messes worthwhile. Your life now Wondering whether your child is ready for that video game system? Save your cash for a while longer. It's not that 4-year-olds can't manipulate the controls and play. But a growing body of evidence says that video games are addictive （還沒讓小馨開始玩video games，不過她的確看太多TV and video).By the time your child is in grade school, there will be no escaping them; even if she doesn't have a system, most of her friends will. For now, emphasize all the other cool kinds of play out there and hold off on starting this habit. 所以到小學再來玩video games還不遲！

Your 4-Year-Old: 1,2,3, and Go!

2013年06月04日
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49

1, 2, 3, and Go! When you think about it, math is as complex to understand as language (for some of us, far more complex). Your child is making great strides in understanding what numbers represent. He can recite the numbers up to ten or higher and counts four to five objects reliably. Grasping the nuances takes a bit longer. A stack of five crackers still seems like a lot more than five crackers laid flat on the table, for example. Your 4-year-old now "One, two, three," your child says as he counts his stuffed animals. And by now, he gets that the final number is the actual quantity of objects he has. What he probably doesn't understand is that even if you rearrange his animals, the number stays the same. Move them farther apart from each other and ask how many and he may say he has four animals instead of three, as they now occupy more space. Preschoolers make judgments about quantity based on appearance. If one pile of blocks is higher, they'll think it has more blocks than a smaller pile. They can't logically grasp the idea that "The higher pile has the same number of blocks; the blocks are just bigger." That's because they focus on how things look rather than the concept of an amount, which is a more complex mental task. The same goes for judging volume. Try this experiment. Serve your child a glass of juice in a thin, tall glass. Give his friend the same amount of juice in a short, squat glass. Ask the pair which glass holds more. Did they say the tall glass? (Probably so — and no doubt it led to bickering over who got more!) Quick Clicks How to raise a child who loves math Should my child wear sunglasses? What's the difference between acetaminophen and ibuprofen? Bowlegs How can I help my child develop a good vocabulary? Your life now One area of the home that's often overlooked in safety proofing is the garage. That's because babies and toddlers — whose parents tend to be most vigilant about making sure their home is safe — seldom venture there. But fours may go into the garage for bikes and ride-on toys or to work on a building project. Make sure that gasoline, standing tubs of water, paints, pesticides, power tools, and other dangers are stored in locked cabinets or far out of reach, bearing in mind that nothing is really far out of reach for an inventive and agile 4-year-old. And now that your child is becoming ever more social, it's important to check in with the parents of his playdates to make sure that any guns they have at their home are locked up at all times. You may choose not to let him play at houses where weapons are stored, even if they are in a safe. And, of course, if your family has guns, you'll want to be equally sure that they're always locked away.

Your 4-Year-Old: Feeling for Others

2013年05月28日
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Hello, Rene! Feeling for Others The Golden Rule says, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It will be easier to teach your child this concept now that her empathy, or sensitivity to other people's feelings, is advancing. Even though she can't quite think through other people's reactions all the time, she's capable of naming many feelings and reaching out with a hug when someone's sad. And that's huge! Your 4-year-old now Your child may begin to show concern or try to comfort others who are sad or angry. Her ability to understand feelings through words or body language is advancing. She can empathize with people who are not right in front of her (an aunt you're talking about, a character in a story). And because her verbal skills have advanced, she can now offer empathy with words and express her own feelings. In fact, the more children talk about and can name their feelings, the better equipped they are to show empathy. Chances are your child can identify with sadness and anger because she's felt those emotions and can name them. Feelings like embarrassment are more complex. To help bolster her emotional intelligence, give her words to match her feelings: "I know falling down in front of those kids was embarrassing for you." Validate feelings no matter how trivial they may seem to you. You want your child to feel safe sharing with you. It helps to be honest about your own emotions: "I'm feeling sad because Grandma died." Or "Yes, I'm mad at Dad, but I still love him." Model empathetic behavior, too. Take her with you when you deliver a meal to a sick neighbor. Give hugs on tough days. Compliments also go a long way: "That was nice of you to be worried when Miles was crying. You made him happy when you gave him his blanket." Your life now Look around at your social circle: Is it widening? Is the center point of it — guess who — your child? As she becomes more sociable and involved in preschool, she'll be invited to an endless stream of birthday parties. Which means you'll spend more time talking to her buddies' parents. Lo and behold, soon some of your best friends will be people you only know because your kids took a shine to one another at the crafts table! It's a strange but happy phenomenon to be known primarily as Colton's Dad or Mara's mom. Get used to it — you can expect this to continue as your child grows.