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山寨娘娘

山寨娘娘

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  1. 網誌
  2. 習慣與教育
網誌區塊

俄羅斯藍貓=二樓之懶貓

2010年03月24日
公開
28

這星期為了貓和小孩很忙 這幾天老爺賜給貓新綽號 俄羅斯藍貓=二樓之懶貓 因為這隻貓不敢造次 也很少下樓 媽咪只好把她的餐盤端去二樓樓梯口 也許是因為她身上的短毛夠厚 這隻貓不怕冷 也不喜歡躺在pet bed上 家裡加上貓褓母送的cat tunnle tent 及hammock house一共有三個貓窩 但是她除非是山大妞老是要追著摸她和她玩 不然她很少躲進三窩 多半喜歡在我們床下睡 冷暗靜的地方最得她的心 晚上媽咪不喜歡她待在我們睡覺的地方 趕二樓之懶貓到走道 她也只能無奈地貓貓數聲 半夜早上我們一開門她就在門口迎接我們 想到我們床上去 上廁所她到現在還不願意用 有加蓋的Cleavercat 媽咪只好把樓下最簡單 的開放式litter pan 拿上去讓她用 第二天中午她雖然不喜歡媽咪用了pan liner 但是還是上了廁所 還好她蓋貓沙還蠻斯文的 沒有到處都是貓沙 媽咪遷就她就讓她在二樓洗手間解決 她現在已經用corn+ wheat + pine litter得蠻習慣了 早上起來都可以見到乾糧吃光了;貓沙用了 到目前為止 媽咪覺得薰衣草這名字還是不適合她 乾脆沿用山寨老爺賜給她的名字 二樓之懶貓好了 目前她和山大王相處還好 但是她雖然很關心山大妞 可是見到山大妞展開熱情的關心 就想要夾著尾巴跑走躲起來 等到山大妞睡著時才敢在床沿偷偷去看她 她最大的娛樂就是站在魚缸上看魚

山大王的黑白想 + FW: Black-and-white thinking

2009年06月26日
公開
37

山大王這年紀常常喜歡玩好人壞人打殺遊戲 也喜歡偶爾當當壞人 媽咪常問他為什麼要打打殺殺 他只是覺得好玩用一個理由說這是壞人 實在媽咪覺得用武力解決的後果都是兩敗俱傷 是很愚蠢的決定 又問他誰是好人誰是壞人怎麼分 他覺得自己是好人還是壞人 山大王常常被媽咪問的問題大大掃興 但是偶爾他也會了解媽咪說的 世上沒有絕對好人或絕對壞人的道理 最近山大王更是常常把自己當英雄 覺得他知道怎麼去"拯救"妹妹 山大妞玩水沒坐好吃到水 山大王拉她一把但也沒完全扶好 山大王就趕緊要稱自己是就妹妹的英雄 要妹妹跟他道謝 媽咪很難解釋不要誇耀自己不要居功的想法 但是山大王見到妹妹或小朋友跌倒 沒有主動幫他扶起來 一臉迷糊不知所錯的樣子 又會被媽咪罵 媽咪跟爸鼻說山大王處理危急能力不夠 爸鼻倒是還蠻看得開覺得 六歲的孩子本來很多事情都還看不清狀況 對媽咪的課題是 媽咪覺得這些禮貌道德和危機處理的能力都很重要 每次對山大王耳提面命連媽咪都嫌自己囉唆 可是不教不唸又不行 現在山大王思考很直接不是黑就是白 說話太直讓人感覺沒禮貌 覺得好像以前他還是preschool時 那個人見人愛文質彬彬的小男生已經不見了 如何從生活養成習慣關心別人以禮相待 媽咪覺得老是用大小聲盯山大王 身教不夠也是反其道而行 媽咪還要多多想辦法忍住自己的直接反應 婉轉地勸告山大王 這樣才能讓他知道對錯之間還有許多空間叫-- 容忍 Your 6-Year-Old Timeline: Black-and-white thinking Your 6-year-old now Your child may have trouble seeing the middle ground of anything. Sixes tend to be either ecstatic or down in the dumps. Someone is stupid or brilliant. Or something is right or wrong. This mind-set of rigid extremes can be exasperating and puzzling. In fact, black-or-white thinking helps kids organize and control their world. As they put things into one of two categories – like or dislike, fun or boring – they make predictions about behaviors and situations. Being able to do this shows they can understand two very different ideas at the same time. As your child matures, she'll improve her ability to see things from another's perspective. Till then, you can help her develop more nuanced viewpoints by pointing out the gray in life. For example, if your child is fond of hyperbole – "You never take me to get ice cream. You're always yelling at me." – remind her of the cone she got just last week or the time yesterday that you praised her for a job well done. Your life now Grand getaways can be terrific – but not always easy to engineer. Rather than waiting up for some fantastic escape months from now, look for little escapes to act as pressure valves from the everyday stresses of parenting. Taking just five or ten minutes to sit with e-mail and a cup of tea or run through some relaxation exercises can revive you – and more important, teaches your child that you deserve a bit of time to yourself. Your child is old enough to respect your need for time and space and able to entertain herself for these short periods, too.

山大王的精打細算

2009年03月14日
公開
28

山大王在學校學到美國總統在哪些硬幣上 Quarter,25分是華盛頓(Geroge Washington); Penny,1分是林肯 (Abraham Lincoln); Dime,10分是羅斯福 (Franklin Roosevelt); Nikle,5分是傑弗遜 (Thomas Jefferson) 爸鼻鼓勵他算完全對一張數學習題可以得到四個華盛頓 到目前山大王做兩位數減法習題不需regrouping算算得蠻快 三位數他也可以做但是要去位他就做得苦哈哈 媽咪為了鼓勵他做完告訴他算10~20題就唸給他聽 一章節的羅馬神話裡大力士的12項苦力 Myths of Hercules and his twelve labors 山大王最近很崇拜英雄 對這種故事很感興趣 所以還有一天做完兩張數學習題的紀錄 為的不是多賺四個華盛頓 而是趕快聽完所有海克力斯的12項苦力故事 過了兩個星期山大王有幾天也沒做數學或沒有做完一張 累積下來山大王有十顆星也就是10元零用錢 山大王搜括家裡的零錢也給他找出10元左右的硬幣 媽咪問他想買什麼?他說想吃漢堡和買YoYo給妹妹 所以媽咪先在家演算清單一遍 看他需要多少華盛頓,林肯,羅斯福和傑弗遜 的幫忙才能到In n Out飽餐一頓 週末我們通常都讓山大王睡到自然醒 平常他早餐總是沒胃口 所以週末他也是很晚才吃早餐 下午時媽咪決定帶山大王去圖書館還書 遲還七本書一天罰款七個華盛頓 山大王有些氣餒還推給媽咪沒有記得還書 之後山大王到In n Out點了三樣連税共$5.90 媽咪算給山大王聽 他一個星期才拿到五顆星而已 要六顆星才吃到一餐 景氣不好工作難保 山寨家難得在外面吃東西 讓山大王用自己賺得的零用錢吃一餐 自己精打細算才知道 花錢容易賺錢難 不然他老是以為自己很多"林肯"在口袋很有錢呢 ******************************** Heads or Tails Gary Rosen I find one, I feel lucky I flip 'em up for fun Who's on my penny? Abraham Lincoln Who's on my penny? Abraham Lincoln My Dad feeds parking meters I buy bubble gum Who's on my nickel? Thomas Jefferson Who's on my nickel? Thomas Jefferson. Chorus: Jingle jangle, money money Lots of things to buy. Jingle jangle, money money Tell me why oh why Heads have heads, but tails don't have a tail. Heads have heads, but tails don't have a tail. The father of our country President number one Who's on my quarter? George Washington Who's on my quarter? Geroge Washington Money slips thru my fingers I attach it to my belt. Who's on my dime? Franklin Roosevelt Who's on my dime? Franklin Roosevelt Chorus When Jackie was First Lady He died tragically Who's on my half dollar? John F. Kennedy Who's on my half dollar? John F. Kennedy Chorus Tag: Heads have heads but tails don't have A penny is a penny, a dollar is a dollar Trade a Susan Anthony for an Eisenhower Heads have heads but tails don't have a tail Heads have heads but tails don't have... Take two Toms, five Abrahams, one George, a John, a Franklin And trade 'em for a Bill?

為山大王選書

2008年06月30日
公開
37

Henry's Baby by Mary Hoffman (PreK–3) Henry wants his friends to see him as cool; he doesn't want to have to hang around his uncool baby brother — until Henry finds out that his friends actually like babies. Henry and Mudge Series by Cynthia Rylant (PreK–3) This popular series is comprised of warm picture books detailing the adventures of Henry and his larger than life dog, Mudge. The Pool Party by Gary Soto (1–4) Rudy has just been invited to his first pool party and can't think of a good gift to give his friend. Soto delivers a lot of humor during Rudy's search for the perfect gift while showing us pieces of Hispanic life and how Rudy deals with an insecure teenage sister, wild grandfather, and many other interesting family members. Books for Ages 5-6 Agapanthus Hum and Major Bark, by Jennifer Plecas When she loses a tooth, Agapanthus discovers that she can make an angel hoot by blowing through the hole in her smile. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, by Judith Viorst On a day when everything goes wrong for him, Alexander is consoled by the thought that other people have bad days too. Aloha, Dolores, by Barbara Samuels When Dolores enters her cat, Duncan, in a Meow Munchies Cat Food contest, she's certain Duncan is so good-looking, smart, and talented that he'll win first prize. When a cat named Fifi wins instead, Dolores must rise to the occasion... and with a little help from Faye, she discovers that winning isn't everything. Amos and Boris, William Steig A drowning mouse is befriended by a whale in the ocean. Years later in an equally unlikely situation, the mouse has a chance to return the favor. Bonaparte, by Marsha Wilson Chall When a young French boy goes away to school, he and his dog are sad to be separated until they find a way to change the school's rules about dogs. The Bossy Gallito, by Lucia M. Gonzalez Set in the Little Havana section of Miami, this is the colorful tale of a bossy little rooster on his way to his uncle's wedding. Chrysanthemum, by Kevin Henkes Chrysanthemum loved her name . . . until she went to school. "I'm named after my grandmother, " said Victoria. "You're named after a flower." Chrysanthemum wilted. Nothing got any better--until the students met their music teacher, Mrs. Delphinium Twinkle. Cold Feet, by Cynthia C. DeFelice Willie McPhee has fallen on hard times and discovers spooky happenings when he takes much-needed boots off a dead man. Soon Willie's feet are warm...but who is that tapping on the door? Corduroy at the Zoo, by Don Freeman Corduroy and his friends are taking a trip to the zoo. Find the mischievous monkeys playing hide-and-seek in the Jungle Walk, or spot the wombats in the Australia exhibit. The Doorbell Rang, by Pat Hutchins Ma has made a dozen delicious cookies. It should be plenty for her two children. But then the doorbell rings -- and rings and rings and rings. Everything to Spend the Night From A to Z, by Ann Whitford Paul Rollicking rhymes and illustrations packed with funny details reflect this exuberant narrator's delight as she pulls one thing after another out of her overnight bag and invites her grandpa to join in the fun. Farmer Brown Shears His Sheep: A Yarn About Wool, by Teri Sloat Farmer Brown was shearing sheep, piling up a snowy heaps of wool that filled his shed, knee-deep. But when the temperature drops, his shivering sheep see all their wool in sacks--and "BAAA!" they cry. "WE WANT IT BACK!" Hamster Chase, by Anastasia Suen The class hamster gets loose and it's up to Peter, Amy, and Archie to find him and lure him back into his cage. How To Catch An Elephant, by Amy Schwartz Enjoy this zany tale about a journey into the wilds where elephants live and about the fun of catching one -- a process that is utterly logical and utterly nuts. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, by Laura Numeroff Relating the cycle of requests a mouse is likely to make after you give him a cookie takes the reader through a young child's day. Is Your Mama a Llama?, by Deborah Guarino A young llama asks his friends if their mamas are llamas and finds out, in rhyme, that their mothers are other types of animals. It's Justin Time, Amber Brown, by Paula Danziger Amber wants a watch for her seventh birthday more than anything so she can feel more grown-up and she will always know exactly how late Justin Daniels, her best friend, is. Letters and Sounds (Get Set for Kindergarten series), by Rosemary Wells Timothy and his kindergarten classmates learn about the alphabet, sounds, and rhyming. Includes activities on letter recognition, single and multiple syllable words, and words that start with consonants and vowels. The Lion and the Mouse and Other Aesop Fables, by Doris Orgel Getting there is half the fun with this pair, and along the way Minnie and Moo pick up a busload of equally adventurous animal friends from nearby Africa World, careen through a car wash they believe is China, and find themselves trading stories under a night sky in what they hope is America. The Little Engine that Could, by Watty Piper Although he's not very big, the Little Blue Engine agrees to try to pull a stranded train full of toys over the mountain. Minnie and Moo Go to Paris, by Denys Cazet Getting there is half the fun with this pair, and along the way (past an electrical tower they think is the Eiffel), Minnie and Moo pick up a busload of equally adventurous animal friends from nearby Africa World, careen through a car wash they believe is China, and find themselves trading stories under a night sky in what they hope is America Owl Moon, by Jane Yolen

在家過節 Holidays at home

2007年11月25日
公開
23

感恩節這五天連續假期 我們都吃得很簡單 除了感恩節當天中午去吃阿宗麵線 其他時間都在家裡簡單吃 感恩節也沒烤火雞 只有吃蝦仁鳳梨炒飯和義大利麵 感恩節下午山寨一家去Balboa Island散步 回憶著2003年感恩節的過去 一家人一起在小島海邊散步聊天 牽著學步兒山大妞逛小島上的後花園 山大妞每經過一個私家船頭靠岸口 就要上去走一走 散步道上經過的人都對山大妞很友善 很多家人一起散步 一對母女攬肩牽手走過看到山大妞牽著媽咪手走 那位媽媽對亭亭玉立的女兒說: You were like that little...... 讓媽咪和爸鼻聽到會心一笑 星期五爸鼻也把聖誕樹拿出來 媽咪把Black Friday早上買來的吊飾掛上去 山大王也幫忙將木製吊飾塗上顏色 讓家裡很有聖誕節的氣氛 山大妞喜歡學媽咪 用聖誕老公公的口氣說Ho~ho~ho 很可愛啦 最近山大王實在很hyper 可能是最近媽咪烤點心 肉桂捲,香蕉麵包和薑人兒巧克力餅乾都是甜點 大概是山大王除了點心還吃太多糖和餅乾 讓山大王有些營養不良 星期六下午ABCD family來山寨家玩 媽咪包了水餃一起吃便飯 山大王實在是人來瘋 訓誡都聽不太進去 所以爸鼻媽咪也越來越兇 星期天媽咪不准他吃零食 好像情況就改善很多 山大妞雖然敢放手走四五步了 但很不喜歡自己走 一定要媽咪牽著她兩手走 而且要照著她高興走的路線 這個週末山大妞很喜歡牽著媽咪兩手上下樓梯 老是彎腰扶著這個小妞爬樓梯 真是折磨媽咪的腰咧 原本上星期二約了打掃的maids 因為她們來的時間改來改去 媽咪嫌麻煩到山大妞的作息 乾脆不要她們來了 倒是這個週末趁爸鼻在家時 媽咪把樓上浴室清一清 爸鼻和山大王也把車洗一洗 為了自己家人打掃辛苦點也是值得 媽咪喜歡聽著電台103.5FM放的耶誕歌 邊佈置耶誕樹和吊飾 晚上爸鼻還配合媽咪的心情點起蠟燭吃飯 在家過節享受家人一起的簡單生活 真是再好不過了

FW:How Do Asian Students Get to the Top of the Class?

2007年04月05日
公開
22

How Do Asian Students Get to the Top of the Class?by Dr. Soo Kim Abboud and Jane Kim Clearly Define Your Child's Role as a Student 1. Respect your elders and obey your parents. 2. Study hard and do well in school to secure a bright future. Asian parents do several things that allow their children to embrace the role of student: 1. They manage their children's time outside of school. 2. They assume the role of educator after school hours. 3. They teach their children that being a student is both fun and rewarding (with the help of their children's educators). 4. They have a genuine respect for educators. To encourage your children to embrace the role of student, turn your home into an exciting place for learning! Set aside at least one hour every night to focus on homework or review the subjects your children are struggling with. Even after the homework is done, review the principles learned that day at school together. If you, as parents, are willing to spend time and effort on your children's studies, your children will more likely view their schoolwork as meaningful. For the same reason, the more fun you have reviewing the material together, the better! Our father loved to conjure up additional problems to reinforce our homework assignments — without them, he was never fully convinced that we understood the material. When it's time for your children to tackle the books, make sure they are in a place where you can see them. This way, they can come to you with questions and you can also ensure they are doing their homework (and not goofing off, or dozing off). Of course, don't forget to allow your children some time to unwind and relax, particularly immediately after coming home from school. Getting your children to embrace being students also involves individualizing methods of learning that will work best for them. In order to determine what these methods are, schedule frequent meetings with your children's teachers and get their feedback on what learning and teaching methods work best for them. After all, these educators spend all day with your kids and can easily identify their strengths and weaknesses. Once you have this information, your teaching (and your children's learning) will become more effective. Finally, we can't stress enough how important it is to instill a respect for educators in your children. Asian parents possess the utmost respect for educators, and this respect is passed onto their children. Asian parents never undermine an educator's authority, and they view their children's educators as collaborators — not adversaries. If your children do not respect their educators, it will be incredibly difficult — if not impossible — for them to respect and embrace their roles as students. Reward Positive School Performances and Devise a Plan of Attack for Poor School Performances All parents and educators believe in positive reinforcement for a job well done. However, many American parents also reward their children for mediocre school performances, fearing that if they are too negative, they might permanently damage their children's self-esteem. While positive reinforcement is effective and feels good, the goal of a parent interested in raising achievers should be to mainly reward performances that are praiseworthy. Of course, we are in no way advocating negative reinforcement. While harsh punishment for mediocre or poor grades may improve school performance temporarily, the pressure, resentment, and fear this strategy fosters in your children can have negative long-term repercussions. While American parents continually try to boost their children's self-esteem, Asian parents tend to dole out praise less frequently. If your son is struggling in biology class and brings home a poor grade despite hours of studying, don't simply praise his efforts and ignore his grade. After praising him for his dedication, sit down with him to discuss how his efforts can result in a better grade the next time around (you may need to include his educator). It's OK to show your child that you are proud of his effort yet unsatisfied with his performance. While American parents go to great lengths to stress the importance of effort regardless of the result, Asian parents tend to be more results-oriented. Stressing both effort and achievement rather than effort alone can make all the difference in your child's academic performance without in any way hurting your child's emotional well-being. Parents play a crucial role in their child's academic and professional success. In Top of the Class: How Asian Parents Raise High Achievers - and How You Can Too, we discuss 17 ways parents can raise children to love learning and maximize their intellectual potential. While many of the methods run counter to our American culture, we believe that no other investment a parent can make will provide as many long-term rewards.

FW: Study Skills for Middle School and Beyond

2007年04月05日
公開
37

Study Skills for Middle School and Beyond Your child has a better chance of succeeding in college if she masters school survival skills now. Here's how you can help her get organized and learn to study effectively. By Linda Strean, GreatSchools Managing Editor "Be sure to study for the test on Friday," Does your child know how? While many teachers spend some class time teaching study skills, it's not unusual for students to need more guidance than they get in the classroom. In middle school, there's more homework, it becomes more difficult and it requires analytical skills your child may not have developed yet. The study skills your child needs to do well on her test on Friday are the same ones she will need to succeed in high school and college: getting organized, taking good notes and studying effectively. As your child moves toward independence, she's less likely to ask for your advice. She will need to go through some trial and error to come up with the strategies most compatible with her learning style. And you'll want to encourage her to take responsibility for her own school work. You can help her by monitoring homework, asking questions and helping her evaluate what works for her – and what doesn't. Helping Your Child Get Organized Getting organized is crucial for your child, says Linda Winburn, a veteran South Carolina middle school teacher who became the state's 2005 Teacher of the 'Did You Do Your Homework?' Parents need to ask more questions than this one, teachers advise. How much should you help with homework? Monitor homework but remember it's your child's homework, not yours. You can help by asking questions that help guide your child to his own solutions. Some examples: What information do you need to do this assignment? Where are you going to look for it? Where do you think you should begin? What do you need to do next? Can you describe how you're going to solve this problem? How did you solve this problem? What did you try that didn't work? Why does this answer seem right to you? Tell me more about this part? Year. "And the key is parent involvement." Some tips to help your child get organized: Provide a place to study. It doesn't have to be a desk, says Winburn. "A kitchen counter is a great place, especially if mom's in the kitchen cooking." The desk or table surface should be big enough so that your student can spread out papers and books. Make sure essential supplies such as pens, paper and calculator are close by. Have good lighting and a sturdy chair that's the right height available. Help your child develop a system to keep track of important papers. If your child tends to forget to turn in homework or can't quite keep track of how he's doing in a class, it might help to get him a binder with a folder in the front for completed work ready to be turned in and a folder in the back for papers returned by the teacher. "For me, staying organized meant creating a system — any system — and sticking to it," says Gabriela Kipnis, now a student at the University of Pennsylvania. "I had fun color-coding and organizing using dividers, but the truth is, all that mattered was that there was a method that I stuck with." Make sure your child has — and uses — a planner to keep track of assignments. Help your child get in the habit of writing down each daily assignment in each subject and checking it off when it's complete. Some schools provide these to students, and if not, you might want to work with your PTA or parent organization to provide planners at your school. Encourage your child to estimate how long each assignment will take. He can then plan a realistic schedule, building in study breaks after subjects that are most challenging, and allowing for soccer games and band practice. Helping your child keep track of time spent studying – rather than staring at a blank page — will help him learn to connect time spent on schoolwork with school success. Help your child break big projects into smaller ones. A big research project will seem less overwhelming and will be less likely to be left until the last minute if it's done in manageable chunks, each with its own deadline. Communicate with your child's teachers. If your child is struggling with organizational skills, talk to the school counselor or teachers about what might be causing the problems and brainstorm approaches to solve them. Studying for Tests Studying for tests is a skill. For struggling students, it's a mystery. "Unsuccessful test takers don't know where the questions come from," says Jim Burke, a California high school English teacher and the author of a number of books about teaching and learning. "The kids who don't succeed tend to think the others are lucky." Parents can help their children manage their time and attention — which means turning of the cell phone, the TV and the iPod, says Burke. Some tips to remember in helping your child: Rereading isn't the same as learning. "Reviewing alone is not enough, says Kipnis, the UPenn student, reflecting on what she has learned along the way. "Thinking of potential essay questions and outlining them or working out the challenging math problems helps me learn how to apply the material so that I do not blank when I see the questions on the test." "For math and sciences, a big problem that I had was that I would spend a lot of time reviewing the concepts, but I wouldn't learn them because I was not practicing applying the concepts," she says. "I was the most productive when I created sheets with tons of practice problems and just practiced applying the concept in many different ways." There are other ways your student can practice this kind of active learning — highlighting his notes, using Post-its to mark key textbook passages, making study cards, and mapping and diagramming concepts. Which is best: morning, afternoon or evening? Everyone focuses better at some times of the day than others. Help your child find the times that his efforts will be most effective. Sometimes we just have to memorize. You may have used a mnemonic like Roy G. Biv to remember the colors of the rainbow (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet) or My Very Educated Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas to remember the correct order of the planets, back when Pluto was still considered the ninth one. Inventing your own silly mnemonic together works just as well and can lighten up a study session. Ask questions to help your child distinguish important from unimportant information. For example, ask: "What's the most important thing you learned about ...?" Remind your child to make the most of his time. If he always carries a review sheet or book along with him, odd moments — waiting for the bus, sitting in the doctor's office — can be used as productive study time. That Your 'Media Multitasker' A recent study by the Kaiser Family Foundation referred to today's children as “media multitaskers,” who send instant messages, talk on the phone and listen to music at the same time while doing homework. But despite what your child may tell you, this could well hinder learning, according to brain research by a UCLA psychology professor. Dr. Russell Poldrack found that multitaskers learn but they do it differently and cannot retrieve the information as effectively. leaves more time for a basketball game after school. Find out what skills students at your child's grade level are expected to have. Middle school students are generally expected to have learned basic multiplication and division facts. If your child can't quickly recall them, it is likely to affect her scores on math tests. It may be time to go back and review basic skills. Look for other sources of support. Find out the best way to reach your child's teachers and keep that contact information handy all year. Is there a college student in your neighborhood who can help with math, a relative who can tutor him in Spanish? Talk to your child about finding a "study buddy" or group. Study groups can be effective because students can fill in the gaps in each other's knowledge and test their understanding of the material by explaining it to others. Help your child reflect on what works. Some questions you can ask: How do you know when you've studied enough? How did you keep yourself focused? How much time did you plan to spend and how much did you actually spend? How would you do this differently next time? Help your child de-stress. Good study skills can help reduce anxiety, and so can relaxation exercises and regular physical activity. If your child seems unusually stressed about tests, talk to him about what's making him anxious. If the work seems too difficult for your child or the workload too great, contact the school. "Have a conversation with the teacher," says Winburn, the South Carolina teacher. "Maybe the child doesn't need to be doing 100 problems to practice a concept. Maybe 10 is just fine." August 2006

吐口水的山大王

2007年02月02日
公開
35

最近山大王還是不斷出招 挑戰爸鼻媽咪教養孩子的EQ和IQ 山大王調皮的時候 通常是他已經很累又硬撐想玩很興奮的時候 調皮時的山大王總是很快樂地唱歌 聽不進去爸鼻媽咪的警告危險或需要合宜的行為 不合作爸鼻媽咪的要求 這時爸鼻媽咪就會怒火攻心 出招也會失去度量 今晚山大王該上床睡覺前又踩了地雷 前五分鐘還看爸鼻做鬼臉笑到肚子受不了停不下來 等爸鼻要他關燈睡覺時 山大王就不高興啦 居然趁爸鼻不注意躺好好時 吐口水在爸鼻臉上 這應該是這星期第二次山大王犯規了 馬上被爸鼻以迅雷不及掩耳的速度抓到外面小陽台 山大王也驚嚇大哭大叫 因為這小子怕黑 爸鼻拉他出去時還幫他開了燈 門還沒關上山大王以腳卡著門推要進來 爸鼻又抓他去廁所噓噓 原因是怕他嚇到尿褲子 噓噓完爸鼻又盤問他為什麼吐口水在爸鼻臉上 山大王才說是因為是因為他想要有story time 但是山大王上次在爸鼻臉上吐口水時 就已經被好言相勸"下次不可以吐口水; 不然就要去外面 time-out" 但是山大王還是會在他生氣時就spit... 這次又犯規還是得讓他知道後果 媽咪覺得"外面time-out"其實效果不彰 但是山大王只怕這招 其他柔性勸說或在家time-out都沒用 很多時候他聽不進去我們警告勸告會一犯再犯 每次犯規時媽咪問他為什麼 他都會想一想回答說: "媽咪妳知道我什麼我會說"喀掐"嗎? 是因為是因為我不喜歡..." 其實經過幾次 媽咪真得覺得山大王"外面time-out"或"大聲責罵"的處罰 對他只有恐嚇的效果制止他"當下"的舉動 真的要"教養"還是得不厭其煩慢慢跟他講道理 還有最近他生病體力比較差 他想睡覺時特別調皮 那時和他講道理或責罵只是給自己找氣受吧...

FW: SIBLING RIVALRY

2006年08月20日
公開
41

摘錄SIBLING RIVALRY 1. Make friends before birth. By replaying the older child's baby events, she will be prepared for a replay of her brother or sister. 2. Make the older sibling feel important:To pull the child out of the "I want to be a baby, too" belief, play up her importance to you, personally and practically. Give her a job title, such as "mommy's helper." 3. share time: This entertains two kids with one parent New babies require a lot of maintenance, and you don't have 200 percent of yourself to give. We would wear our infant in a baby sling, which gave us two free hands to play a game with the older one. While feeding baby, we would read a book to the sibling, or just have cuddle time. Spending a lot of time sitting on the floor increases your availability to your toddler while your baby is in-arms or at breast. As baby gets older, place him in an infant seat, or on a blanket, on the floor to watch you play one-on-one with her big brother or sister. This entertains two kids with one parent. As first-time parents, we struggled with how we were going to meet the needs of a newborn and a toddler, only to realize that because our toddler got what he needed as a baby, he could handle frustration. An infant can't. 4. Stay positive: The attention your child apparently has lost from mom, he gains from dad. Arrange a lot of one-on-one outings for your older child, such as time at the park and the ice cream store, so the child realizes that even though he's lost some time with mom, he's gets more special time with dad, grandparents, or other caregivers. 5. Begin the day in harmony. If possible, start most days with "special time" with your toddler. Sometimes starting the day with twenty minutes of intensive care—holding time—with your toddler can ward off angry feelings in the toddler toward the new baby and is a good investment in the rest of the day. 6. Raise sensitive sibs. It's hard to hate and hit a person you care about and who cares about you. I don't believe siblings are born adversaries, certainly not unless parents permit it. You can nurture patterns of life-long friendship among your children by helping them find constructive ways to be sensitive to each other. Learning to live with a sib is a child's first lesson in getting along with other children. Early in our parenting career, we realized that the parent's role in promoting sibling harmony is as a facilitator, one who doesn't do things directly for the children, but rather sets conditions that foster a compatible relationship between them. Your job is not to control how siblings relate, but rather to shape these relationships. Here are the sibling relationships we tried to facilitate: Sib in charge. If your children are several years apart, give the older child some supervised responsibility for the younger one. This will motivate the older brother or sister to care, and the younger sib will sense this. Even a toddler can gently hold and pat the tiny baby under supervision. Sib as comforter. When one child was hurt, we would ask one of our other children to help attend to the injury. We would give our assistant a job title: "Dr. Erin, you hold Matthew's leg while I wrap it" or "Please put the bandage on Lauren's cut." The "doctor" would most likely muster up compassion for the "patient." It's hard to hate the hand that comforts you. Sib as minister. In our family, if one child was either physically or emotionally hurt, the others were encouraged to offer comfort to ease the pain. We called this practice "laying on of hands." The sib under pressure (whether it be an upcoming test, or an emotional or physical hurt) would sit in the middle of the group while the rest of us would place a hand on him and pray for his comfort in a calming way. When our seventh child, Stephen, was born, we saw very little sibling rivalry between the rest of the children. Because Stephen was born with Down Syndrome, our children soon learned – because they were taught – that Stephen had special needs and he needed a special kind of brotherly and sisterly love. Sib as teacher. Encourage your child to teach a skill he is proficient at to his sibling. For example, we got our son Matthew, an avid baseball player, to show his brother Stephen how to hit and catch a ball. And now, years later, Stephen can play ball well with typical boys his age. Sibs as co-workers. Assign children tasks that require cooperation and motivate them to work together: "Matthew, would you and Erin please clean up the garage? If you two hurry, we can finish soon enough to catch an afternoon movie!" If the siblings are born with clashing personalities, the adult monitor should keep a "bossy-submissive" relationship from developing. Sibs as co-sleepers. Parents in our practice have told us that children who sleep together at night usually play more peacefully together during the day. That has also been our experience. Sib as entertainer. If you have a born clown, capitalize on that asset and encourage the clown to entertain the other sibling, such as the older child humoring the toddler while you get something done. 7. Set limits. Sometimes you're too tired to play amateur psychologist and you just want to click into your police mode. Do it and don't worry about permanently damaging your child's psyche. Give clear messages about how you expect your kids to behave toward one another before arguments become a way of life. Offer calm verbal reminders: "That's a put-down," as one sib belittles the other. Or, issue a look that says "don't even think about it!" Head off fights at the first squabble, before they get out of hand. Be watchful for aggressor- victim roles. Your job is to protect your children, even from one another. How siblings behave toward one another is their first social lesson in how to behave in a group. In our family, we have set certain "maximum allowable limits", which are behaviors that we insist upon to like living with our children, and the children are taught to respect these. When bickering and toy squabbles have reached intolerable decibels, Martha simply announces, "That's disturbing my peace." The children have learned – because they have been taught – that this means the limits have been reached and more socially-acceptable behavior must follow. 8. Hold family meetings. Hayden was the first girl in our family after three boys. Even though we thought the teasing was good-natured, Hayden didn't always see it that way. One day when she was five, she told us, "No one in this family loves me." We held a family meeting to prick a few consciences. The boys and Hayden thereafter became better friends. 9. Humor is the best medicine. Our five-year-old, Peter, holding some strands of hair in his hands, came running to the kitchen complaining about his two-year-old sister: "Hayden pulled a bunch of my hair out." Catching Peter by surprise, Martha suggested, "Why don't you take your hair to school for show and tell." Peter thought this was such a funny idea that he forgot about the hair-puller. One day when Jim and Bob's toy squabbles exceeded our family's tolerable limits, I told them, "If you two want to fight like animals, I'll build cages for you in the backyard. I'll call one of you a cat and one of you a dog. I'll put out a little cat food for one and dog food for the other…" Veteran pet owners have long learned that even cats and dogs can be taught to live harmoniously together if the owner sets house rules and sets up the relationship as friends. Humor disarms and catches children by surprise, so that they can see how insensitive their actions are toward one another. Humor the child into reality. "I want to be a baby, too" said four-year-old Trisha. "All right," her mother played along "You can be a baby today. What would you like to do?" "I'd like to have a bottle." She gave her a bottle of formula. "Yuck, this tastes awful!" "What would you like to play?" "I would like to ride my tricycle." "Babies can't ride tricycles." "Can I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?" "Babies can't eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They only eat baby food." Trisha decided that she didn't want to be a baby after all, announcing: "I think I'll just go outside and ride my tricycle." 10. Foster a team spirit. We often took our children with us on family trips. They soon learned that with privileges come responsibilities, so they learned how to act in a group. The home and family is the first social relationship that kids learn. They learned how people treat people and that everyone in that group has individual rights. They developed a group sensitivity, which is an important tool for life. In fact, disciplining siblings is really giving them the tools to succeed in life. One time we took our eight children (and two grandchildren and their mothers!) with us when we chartered a sailboat in the Caribbean. In this situation, the children had to get along and work together (for safety and for sanity). 11. Promote empathy. Disciplining siblings is giving them the tools to succeed in life, and one of the most important tools that has life-long social implications is the quality of empathy. This is another way of stating the Golden Rule – "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Help your children learn how to get behind the eyes of another person and think first how their behavior is going to affect that other person. We want our children to think through what they're about to do. A lack of empathy is the hallmark of sociopathic relationships between adult siblings. 12. Promote gender sensitivity. We encountered this sibling challenge after Hayden, our first girl, came along after three boys. The family soon became Bob, Jim, and Pete versus Hayden. Throw different personalities and different genders together in an already busy family and you have a sibling melting pot that overflows unless parents constantly monitor the heat. Our boys went into a zero-girl-tolerance stage. Hayden, the queen of theatrics (a drama major in college), got tougher as she went through her boy-battling stage. We had to be vigilant, since we realized that Hayden's first view of males (other than Dad) was her relationship with her brothers – and visa versa. We didn't want the boys to learn that being younger and being a girl equated with being less. Years later as we watched senior class president, Hayden, command the attention of her male colleagues in student body leadership, we wondered how much of our teaching Hayden how to command the respect of her brothers influenced this same relationship with her male peers. (For inspiration see A Daughter's Letter to her Father) 13. Ignore smallies; address biggies. For smallies, such as toy squabbles, teach children to handle it themselves. Simply state the consequences and what you expect, "I'll be back in one minute. If you kids haven't learned how to share the toy or work it out, the toy goes in the garage." You can either time-out the toy or time-out the kids. You're giving them two messages: you expect them to be able to work it out themselves, but you're giving them the unequivocal consequences that if they don't, you will. Children expect parental guidance, as if wanting adults to protect them from being like, well, kids. Biggies are put-downs, or one child victimizing the other. In these situations, children need you to monitor put-downs. If you don't, you're not doing your job. By remaining silent, the victim concludes you're siding with the victimizer. Some sibling squabbles seem to be a right of passage. Children practice on each other, especially when they're bored. They feel, "We need some action here. Let's stir things up." This can lead to the older child goading the younger one, though oftentimes the younger sib becomes the pest and instigator, as if child number two has to try just a little harder. 14. Children do not have to be treated equally. While children are created equally, it's impossible to treat them that way all the time. It took us several children to discover this fact of large family life. In their desire to prevent sibling squabbles, parents strive to do everything the same way for all their children, whether it's buying pajamas or selecting a college. Children aren't the same; you don't need to behave as if they were. Make moment-by-moment decisions and don't worry about the long-term consequences if you give one child more strokes than the other one day. Shoot for a balanced week, not a balanced day. "Why did Hayden get a new pair of shoes and I didn't?" quibbled Erin. "Because hers were worn out and you got a new pair of shoes last month." Yet, we didn't let Hayden flaunt her prize in front of Erin. Children want to be treated individually, not equally. Yet, children have an innate sense of fairness, or what they perceive as being fair. Some children are born scorekeepers. If you try to join the game, it will drive you nuts. One evening at dinner two of our score- keeping children counted the number of peas they had been served to be sure they got an equal number. After that, we let them serve themselves. If they wanted to go through this ridiculous exercise, that was their choice, but we weren't going to join in this draining game. If a treat needs to be divided, we let one child divide the treat, while the other one gets first choice. As much as you can, try to divide chores equally among children according to their ages and capabilities, yet don't beat yourself up trying to be 100 percent fair. You can't be. Remember, you are preparing your children for life, and life does not treat people fairly and equally. "Daddy, why do I have to go to bed at 9:00 o'clock when Erin gets to stay up until 10 o'clock?" "Because you need more sleep." Children don't seem to grumble when they sense the fairness of your decisions. Explain that children get different privileges and more responsibilities as they get older. They can look forward to growing up. Sometimes group therapy solves the equal-time drama. If we gave every child in our family equal time for a story at bedtime, we'd be reading all night. The older ones soon learn that the younger ones need more nighttime parenting to get them to sleep. If they want the same, they join the family bedtime story. Oftentimes, we would have several kids around the bed to join in the three-year-old's story. 15. Every child is a favorite. It's unrealistic for parents to claim they never play favorites. Some parents' and some childrens' personalities clash; others mesh. Some children bring out the best in their parents; others push the wrong buttons. The key is to not let your children perceive this as favoritism. Better yet, make them all feel special. If your child asks you a question, "Who do you love more – me or Matthew?" give the politically correct answer – "I love you both in special ways." Give the comparison that love is like sunshine – sharing the sun doesn't mean you get less, and our love shines on our children like sunshine. Mention special qualities: "You are my firstborn, and no one else can be my firstborn child" (or second, or first daughter, etc.). Don't fall into the "who's best" trap. Children don't expect you to say who's better, they are only fishing for reassurance about how you feel about them. 16. Minimize comparisons. This is also the basis for feelings of inferiority, which encourages undesirable behavior among siblings. Praise your child for accomplishments in relation to herself and not in comparison to a sibling. Each child can feel she is special in the eyes of her parents. Children are constantly being compared. Most of their life they will be rated on their performance: grades in school, the batting order on the baseball team, races and games among themselves. The home is the only organization left that values a child for himself and not in comparison with others. So, avoid comments like, "Why can't you make good grades like your brother?" 17. Referee quarrels. When to step in as a referee and when to remain a bystander is a round-by-round judgment call. Sometimes letting children be children or giving them reminders is all that is necessary. Martha's immediate fight-stopper is "You're disturbing my peace." This works because we have already planted the idea that in crowds (our family qualifies as a crowd) one respects the peace of others. If children are in danger of hurting someone or damaging property, stop the fight. Siblings who are allowed to fight as kids are more likely to fight as adults. Above all, stop sibling abuse – either physical or emotional. 18. When in doubt, intervene. You may hear, "Oh, they'll just grow out of it!" Both experience and research has shown that without parental guidance, siblings with bad relationships are likely to grow into adults with bad relationships. The more they are allowed to fight as kids, the more likely they are to fight as adults. Being complacent and concluding that the childhood relationship will naturally grow from sour to sweet is being naïve. It doesn't. The relationship is likely to get more sour when children grow up being deprived of the brotherly and sisterly love that is the birthright of being a brother or sister. 19. Listen to both sides. Children will be both buddies and battlers. We not only need to protect growing bodies from physical abuse, which siblings usually grow out of with few or no lasting scars, but more importantly we need to protect their absorbing minds against emotional abuse —which is more likely to have life-long consequences. Sibling abuse is not to be tolerated. If danger is apparent, remember safety first and psychology second. First, separate the fighters; then instead of being drawn into the shouting match, calm everyone down and put on your home psychology hat on top of your authority hat. Also, if you sense one child is victimizing another, call a halt. Verbal abuse qualifies as fighting. Be particularly vigilant to prevent emotional scars, which take longer to heal than the physical ones. Show them alternatives ways of handling differences, a valuable lesson for life. Listen to both sides, "He hit me," "No, he hit me first!" "I hate you!" "I hate you more!" Give your children time and space to vent their anger and frustration before beginning your "therapy." Kids are so caught up in their own emotions that they don't hear what you're saying. Show you understand both children's viewpoints and help them hear each other by echoing their feelings, "Bob, you feel like Jim wronged you, and Jim, you feel that Bob is being unfair… This sounds like something both of you can work out. You're big boys, and I expect you to come out of this bedroom as friends." At the height of sibling bickering, our children would occasionally remark that we had too many kids. We silenced their complaints with: "Which one of you shouldn't we have had?" 20. Siblings are forever. As parents of many children we wear many hats – teacher, referee, coach, psychologist, and field-general. Yet, we wear our communications hat to help our children be life-long friends. Sometime during middle childhood (ages 6 through 10), impress upon your children what "brother" or "sister" really means. Children sense that "blood is thicker than water." Brothers and sisters are a sort of live-in support system. Here's the message we give our children: "Your brothers and sisters will ultimately be your best friends. Once your other friends have moved or drifted away, your family friends will always be there when you need them. Friends come and go; siblings are forever."

弊帚自珍

2006年05月10日
公開
30

每每帶山大王從學校回去時 媽咪都可窺見他在學校學習的情形 有時他會坐在小椅子上自己看書 有時他會和小朋友靠在向停車場的窗戶那面牆 看誰的媽咪來接小朋友了 更多時候他和其他小朋友各佔桌子一角 玩木頭積木或隨意塗鴉 山大王不喜歡在既有的圖案上著色填色 他喜歡隨意發揮 或是任意加上他所謂的"S", "N"等字母 一次他要求媽咪幫他寫"NO": "Can you help me write 'no'?" 或是用點點畫線畫交錯 不然他最喜歡的就是剪紙 有時他會照畫在紙上的線條剪 他練習這項細緻的動作已經一段時間 他已經從直線換到曲線再換到流線形 都可以剪得很好 但他更喜歡隨意剪成小紙片 再用訂書機訂起來 即便媽咪已經來接他了 他還是會捨不得放下手邊的紙頭 一定要一大張紙剪到好小好的紙片 然後還要弊帚自珍地 一小片一小片都放到他自己的抽屜中 然後每天媽咪幫他清抽屜時 他會很仔細不放過任何一小片紙雪花 全數一張一張放入他的袋子 媽咪問他可不可以丟到垃圾桶 他會很篤定地說:"不可以" 還會很親切地跟我們說 這一份是給媽咪或爸鼻的禮物喔 媽咪每次看爸鼻上衣口袋裝滿了 山大王送他的紙片禮物 都忍不住心裡發笑 山大王一家正經歷"紙片的冰河時期" 常常在家山大王的靜態活動就是:"剪紙"勞作 凡山大王經過必留下片片紙屑痕跡 媽咪還得偷偷趁山大王不在的時候 才能將這些纸片清掉 被山大王瞧見我們把他的"Art Work"--藝術傑作 或"這是給你的gift(禮物)喔"丟到字紙簍裡 可是會發出大大的抗議呢

除夕在朋友家團圓飯

2006年01月27日
公開
24

好友鄰居兼爸鼻的同事邀請我們今晚去吃團圓飯 賴伯伯、賴媽媽和賴姊姊忙碌地把農曆年未端上桌 我們只帶了葡萄酒、Apple cider(蘋果發泡汁)和小蛋糕去 我們幫山大王換上拜年"咚咚鏘"的中式服裝 算是比較有年味的樣子啦 其實山大王一家都感冒中 實在沒有多餘的心思放在好好教山大王過年的習俗 不過今晚到學校接山大王時倒是很感動 美國老師Ms. Russuell已經準備了小紅包給山大王嘞 班上小朋友也都有紅包喔 希望老師已經教了中國過年的習俗 但是我們還是得找著機會回台灣過年 讓山大王實習一下過年的氣氛 壓歲錢真正意義是要幫長輩守歲才有的 壓歲錢是因為有長了一歲 也因為放在紅色的袋子裡又叫紅包 因為山大王只知其一不知其二 說"Ms. Russell給我money; 可以買power train" (羅素老師給我錢；我可以買動力火車) 今晚山大王見到熱鬧也從有點怯怯放開到大聲唱歌 和賴奶奶一下子就熟稔起來 賴奶奶問他問題都會回答 還挑賴奶奶餵他吃蛋糕 雖然爸鼻都插好一口蛋糕在他面前 雖然他晚餐吃得不多但是玩起來也很開心 山大王最近餐桌禮儀又退步了 只有山大王一個小孩子大家都寵著他 但山大王今晚的其他表現還好啦 都會跟著爸鼻媽咪稱呼長輩 也會說"恭喜新年好" 山大王臨走又得一紅包 又在賴伯伯家看了他最近最喜歡的 Thomas & his friends: Duke 看了兩集10分鐘就自己主動說要關起來了 今晚山大王看到這麼多朋友聚在一起很開心 回到家裡還很興奮 遲遲不睡呢

如何教出負責任的孩子--如何養育出色的孩子 How to raising great kids (譯)

2005年12月23日
公開
26

選擇合適他年紀的工作, 建立秩序, 和制度去追蹤他的成長 三歲的孩子還沒有準備好如何判斷美德或瞭解他在家中扮演的角色 更不用說他在社會上的角色。但他的確知道自己不是宇宙的重心。 他還沒有準備好如何面對紛亂及規律他自己的作息。但他確知自己 想要讓自己忙碌重要一點, 所以如果你的小不點總是幫倒忙, 不妨 往好處想:這其實是他想要以後成為一個負責任的少年或成人的起點。 你可以做的是:選擇合適他年紀的事情讓他負責 太困難的事只會讓三歲兒感到困窘 像"清理你的房間"這樣的工作他可能覺得畏懼 畢竟這是連你都覺得困擾的事, 更不用說三歲兒無法自己辦得到 但換個方式:"把你的鞋子放進鞋櫃"是三歲兒可以辦到的事 你可能將驚喜於孩子因為可以自己完成這件是有多麼自豪自信 身教力行可能是最有效示範負責任榜樣的方法 但也可能是最難做到的事。 車鑰匙不要隨手放到餐桌; 雜誌不要任意留在沙發四處-- 物歸原位是你可以教孩子小事情也是建立生活秩序 很重要的一環，持之以恆地示範給他看以養成習慣。 例如:說"準備用餐時間到了"倒不如示範給他看如何 將盤子擺好在每張椅子面前；且告訴他"看餐巾要這樣擺！ 你想要幫我做這件事嗎?" 如果你發現自己花太多時間在 示範如何完成這樣工作給三歲兒看,那表示這件事對他來說 還是太難! 教他該做的事要先做, 你的三歲兒還太小不懂得工作先於遊戲 他須從你那知道:"我當然要帶你去小公園玩哪! 但是我們得先把午餐吃完的東西清乾淨喔" 友善地告訴他你也很想去玩，但事件該做的還是要先做 小人兒會瞭解你不是僅管發號司令, 而是真心期待他也能有負責的行為。 讓事件帶有競賽趣味的氣氛: 像古早農舍興建慶祝會一樣, 整個村莊一起幫忙一家興建穀倉, 完成後大家一起分享飽餐一頓。當社交的活動帶來樂趣時, 我們都對分配到的工作更感興趣。你的小人兒很享受 和你一起工作的時光:他對把烘乾的衣服從乾衣機拿出來: 溫暖蓬鬆的衣服堆高高在衣籃上; 或和他一起撢灰塵 邊唱唱跳跳; 或比賽看誰收拾最多的積木。視為趣事而非瑣事。 建立時刻表: 你的三歲兒會更容易建立起好習慣 如果你讓他從小做起。教他將髒衣服放到洗衣籃; 幫助他建立每次洗完澡前要將洗澡玩具收拾歸位。 他將會學到這是他日常生活該做的事， 而非大人可以老是隨手幫他的。 正面積極的方式表達:Jerry Wyckoff, 是一位家庭精神科醫師 他合著有"二十項可以教養的美德"一書, 書中建議他所謂的 "祖母的規矩"讓小人兒去遵守。"祖母的規矩明白訂定家有家規, 每個人都要遵守"魏可夫解釋"祖母的規矩" 不是"最後通牒" (你如果不照做; 你將沒得...)；而是:"你盡己之責就能 做你想要做的事"。如果你的孩子說:我想去後院玩;你則表示 當你收好拼圖後, 你就可以去後院玩囉!換句話說, 你收拾 好玩具; 就可以得到獎勵。也就是獎勵誘導你的小孩應該有的 正確行為，這樣他日久習慣就能不需要獎勵也會自己把玩具 收拾好。 給你的三歲兒一點自動學習的空間, 為了效率你可能想自己將 小孩的盤子放到洗碗機比較快，試著控制自己這樣的急性子。 反倒你應該專注在這小人兒多麼用心想做好這件事而不是 他有沒有完美地達成這件任務。他可能做得不夠完美, 但請不要批評或幫他忙一起完成他該做的任務，因為如此只會 澆滅他想要幫忙的熱情。妳得提醒自己多讓他自己多做幾次就 熟能生巧了。試著用稱讚鼓勵的方式提供你給小人兒的建議: 像是:"你真的將你的盤子清得很好喔!我喜歡你把我的髒盤子 放到洗碗機而不是放到架子上喔。" 預期時好時壞的結果:Paul Coleman一位心理學家同時 也是父親及"如何跟你的孩子說"一書的作者說:"小孩 總是搞砸第一名!那就是他們的本事呀!" (要轉載連結請先告知譯著:山大王娘; 轉載需說明原文出處) 原文出自Babycenter.com

Parents Education Night: SENSORIAL

2005年11月15日
公開
36

Montessori Sensorial Exercises PURPOSE A young child meets the world around him through the constant use of all his senses. To examine a new object, a baby will look at it, hold it in his hands to feel the texture and weight, shake it, lick it, or even try to bite it. Since he quite naturally uses all his powers of observation during his early years, Dr. Montessori felt that this was the ideal time to give the child equipment, which would sharpen his senses and enable him to understand the many impressions he receives through them. The Sensorial Materials in the Montessori classroom help the child to become aware of details by offering him, at first, strongly contrasted sensations, such as red and blue, and then variously graded sensations, such as many different shades of blue. The material enables him to know what is red, what is blue, and then to understand the abstraction of blueness and finally the abstraction of color itself. East of the Sensorial Materials isolates one defining quality such as color, weight, shape, texture, size, sound, smell, etc. The equipment emphasizes this one particular quality by eliminating or minimizing other differences. Thus, the sound boxes are all the same size, same shape, smae color, and same texture; they differ only in the sounds, which are made when the child shakes them. The importance of educating the senses can be illustrated by an example from the adult world. It is possible for men and women, as well as children, to receive any amount of sensory impressions and be none the richer. Two adults may attend a concert together. One experiences great pleasure and the other, with equally accurate hearing, feels only boredom and weariness. Sense impressions are not enough by themselves. The mind needs education and training to be able to discriminate and appreciate. A young child can remain unmoved by a myriad of sensory impressions in her everyday environment. What she nneds is not more and more impressions bu the ability to understand what she is perceiving. The Montessori Sensorial Materials help the child to distinguish, to categorize, and to relate new information to what she already knows. Dr. Montessori believed that this process is the beginning of conscious knowledge. It is brought about by the intelligence working in a concentrated way on the impressions given by the senses. THE PINK TOWER Size in three dimensions is introduced to the child by the use of the Pink Tower. This is a series of ten pink cubes graded in size from one centimeter cubed to ten centimeters cubed. All the blocks are the same color, shape, and texture. To perform the exercise, the child must recognize the gradation in size and build the tower beginning with the largest cube and finally placing the smallest cube on top. The exercise is self-correcting because a block placed in the improper order will be immediately noticeable and may cause the tower to topple. THE BROWN STAIRS The Brown Stairs introduces the child to differences in size in two dimensions. This is a set of ten prisms with a constant length of twenty centimeters but whose width and height both vary from one centimeter to ten centimeters. Again, the child must place the blocks in proper gradation forming a stair-like structure. With this exercise the teacher introduces the concepts of thickness and thinness, using the terms thick, thicker, thickest and thi, thinner, thinnest, with the corresponding blocks as concerte examples. THE RED RODS The Red Rods help the child to recognize differences in size in one dimension - length. Again, the child must place the rods in the proper sequence from the smallest, which is ten centimeters in length to the largest, which is one meter in length. The exercise is similar to the preceding ones in that a mistake in the order is very evident to the child and can be corrected easily. It also offers the teacher the opportunity of introducing to the child the terms short, shorter, shortest and long, longer, longest. This equipment gives the child a sensorial basis for learning to count when he begins mathematics. THE ART OF LISTENING The art of listening carefully is a quality worth cultivating for a lifetime. Many youngsters in today's nosiy world have formed the habit of "turning off" their hearing. They make no effort to distinguish the many sounds that assault their ears and thus they block themselves from many learning activities. Listening attentively is a vital preparation for reading. Montessori designed several sensorial games to help the child concentrate on particular sounds. In one game a child is blindfolded and asked to identify particular sounds in the classroom, such as the noise of opening a window, closing a door, closing a book, or pouring water. In another game, he tries to identify the voices of his classmates without looking at the students who are speaking. THE SOUND BOXES To help children become more aware of the intensity of sound, Montessori designed a set of six cylinder-shaped brown wooden boxes with red tops. Each box contains a small amount of a different substance such as salt, rice, or dired beans. The sounds produced when the child shakes the boxes vary in intensity from soft to loud. This set of boxes corresponds to a second set with blue tops. Each box in the first set has a mate in the second set that produces a similar sound. The child must find the pairs by listening and then grade the boxes from the loudest to the softest. THE BELLS Another quality of sound, which is interesting to the child, is pitch. To isolate this quality, Montessori designed a set of black and white bells corresponding to the black and white keys onthe piano. The bells are alink in every detail expect the pitch, which is heard when the child strikes them gently. A similar set of brown bells corresponds exactly in pitch to the black and white set. The exercise consists of pairing the bells and later grading them in the order of the regular scale and then the half-tone scale. From, A Parent's Guide to the Montessori Classroom by Aline D. Wolf